Factory locusts

One of the stranger products of magical tinkering with nature. They devour whole forests and leave nothing but newly made furniture in their wake.

Saw millipede

The saw millipede has dozens of blade-tipped legs. They grip with their mandibles and scrabble furiously to cut lengths of wood. The larger ones have been known to attack and devour other saw millipedes that have made crooked cuts.

AC 6 [13], HD 1 (5 HP), ATT 1 x saw (1d6), THAC0 19 [+0], MV 120' (40'), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 20, NA 1d3 (2d4), TT none
Specials
Undermine: If an opponent is on a wooden surface like a floor, branch or cart, saw millipedes will attempt to cut it out from under them so they will fall.

Truck bug

Pallet-sized and placid, truck bugs have flat shells and bungie-like bristles. They dig and wriggle under items that need moving and work in teams to convoy them.

AC 4 [15], HD 3 (14 HP), ATT -, THAC0 19 [+0], MV 90' (30'), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F3), ML 7, AL Neutral, XP 20, NA 2d3 (2d4), TT none
Specials
Trip: a truck bug can attempt to knock an opponent prone with its blunt head. Save vs Paralysis negates.

Sandpaper wasp

Sandpaper wasps have nimble mouthparts, capable of nibbling rough surfaces to a sleek and uniform plane. Their stings inject finishing wax.

AC 5 [14], HD 1 (5 HP), ATT 1 x bite (1d4) or 1 x glossy finish (see specials), THAC0 17 [+2], MV 120' (40')/300' (100') flying, SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 8 (10 in swarm), AL Neutral, XP 20, NA 2d6 (2d10), TT none
Specials
Glossy finish: On a successful attack, a sandpaper wasp permanently reduces the AC of a random nonmagical piece of an opponent's armour by 1.

Caulk roach

These skittering insects chew sawdust to produce a thick putty that dries hard, flexible and waterproof.

AC 5 [14], HD 1 (5 HP), ATT 1 x bite (1d4) or 1 x waterproof seal (see specials), THAC0 17 [+2], MV 120' (40'), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 8 (10 in swarm), AL Neutral, XP 20, NA 1d6 (2d6), TT none
Specials
Waterproof seal: On a successful attack a swarm of caulk roaches can attempt to gum up the joints of a piece of metal armour with putty, giving -1 to Dex. Lasts until the armour is thoroughly washed.

Varnish fly

The varnish fly can spit a variety of stains, oils and waxes in a range of colours and glosses. There's a docile domestic variety kept by craftsmen, but this is the other sort.

AC 6 [13], HD 1 (5 HP), ATT 1 x bite (1d4) or 1 x shine (see specials), THAC0 18 [+1], MV 120' (40')/300' (100') flying, SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 8 (10 in swarm), AL Neutral, XP 20, NA 1d6 (2d6), TT none
Specials
Shine: On a successful attack a varnish fly can attempt to coat an opponent with gloss, giving -2 to Stealth. Lasts until the armour is scrubbed down or thoroughly coated in muck.

Stage beetle

The stage beetle will position furniture to make an attractive tableaux, suitable for marketing any dwelling or lair.

AC 4 [15], HD 3 (14 HP), ATT 1 x swipe (1d6) or 1 x reposition (see specials), THAC0 16 [+3], MV 120' (40'), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F3), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 20, NA 1 (1d6), TT none
Specials
Reposition: On a successful attack a stage beetle can grapple an opponent and use them as an improvised weapon. An attack does 1d4 to both the target and the grappled character. Save vs Paralysis ends the grapple.

A bestiary of cheeses

The trap is the second most dangerous thing.

A bestiary of cheeses.

No, you didn't read that wrong. If you're a repeat reader, you know I treasure nonsense. Mine and other people's. It's entirely in character for me to write a bestiary of cheese-based monsters and never stop to ask myself why. 

A wizard did it. Why? Well, if I was a wizard, I would. Wouldn't you? If you're a wizard, who's going to tell you not to enchant cheese?

Emmental

A yellow, mild and nutty monster.  Recognised by its holed and pockmarked surface.

AC 9 [10], HD 3* (14 HP) Att 1 x touch (see specials), THAC0 16 [3], MV 120' (40"), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F3), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 65, NA 1 (1d4), TT U

Specials: Swiss me - holes make it more powerful. For every 4 HP Emmental loses to melee weapons, its to-hit bonus increases by 1.
Swiss you - if an Emmental touches a character, the character develops holes. 1d3 damage per round. Save vs paralysis negates.

Bleu

A sharp and salty muscular creature shot through with blue veins. Its smell is strong too. Even when using stealth, its smell gives it away.

AC 9 [10], HD 4 (18 HP) Att 1 x slam (1d10), THAC0 15 [4], MV 120' (40"), SV 10 11 12 13 14 (F4), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 75, NA 1 (1d4), TT U

Mozzarella

A mild, white and stretchy monster.

AC 9 [10], HD 2* (9 HP) Att 1 x wedge (1d6), THAC0 17 [2], MV 120' (40"), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F2), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 25, NA 3 (2d6), TT U

Specials: Bloop - Mozzarella is immune to impact weapons like clubs and maces.

Cheddar 

A sharp-tasting off-white beast. Cheddars become sharper throughout their life-cycle. Found commonly.

AC 9 [10], HD 1 (4 HP) Att 1 x spikes (1d6), THAC0 18 [1], MV 120' (40"), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F1), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 10, NA 8 (3d8), TT U

Aged Cheddar

A sharper and slightly crumbly version of a regular Cheddar. Not many Cheddars make it to this age. They're too tasty.

AC 9 [10], HD 3 (14 HP) Att 1 x spikes (1d6), THAC0 16 [3], MV 120' (40"), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F3), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 35, NA 3 (2d4), TT U

Brie

A pale, soft monster with a waxy skin.  A Brie is liquid enough to squeeze through cracks and spaces the characters can't use.

AC 9 [10], HD 2* (9 HP) Att 1 x fondue fork (1d6), THAC0 17 [2], MV 120' (40"), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F2), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 25, NA 2 (1d4), TT U

Specials: Spread - on 4-in-6 a Brie can enter a blocked or barricaded space by oozing under doors or between loose-fitting stones.

Halloumi

A squeaky creature with a cracked and burned exterior. The stiff charred layers give it some extra armour and make it smell absolutely mouth-watering.

AC 6 [13], HD 2 (9 HP) Att 1 x grater (1d6), THAC0 17 [2], MV 120' (40"), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F2), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 20, NA 2 (1d4), TT U

Casu marzu

A soft monster with cheese mites crawling on and inside it. I dare you to eat this one. Hold your breath and close your eyes.

AC 6 [13], HD 2* (9 HP) Att 1 x sharpened cracker (1d6), THAC0 17 [2], MV 120' (40"), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F2), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 25, NA 2 (1d4), TT U

Specials: Mite bites - melee attacks knock mites off the cheese. They swarm the attacker and bite for 1d6 damage that ignores armour. Save vs breath negates.

Library bestiary part 3 - demons and other dangers

Part 3 of the cursed library bestiary. Find part 1 here and part 2 here.

The book-creatures described in part 2 aren't much of a threat, except in large groups. The real danger of them is that they might cause noise. This attracts the attention of ghosts, demons, or worst of all - The Silence.

Ghosts

Librarians  

 

Librarians float around the shelves at random. They occupy themselves reshelving books to their personal system. Books are precious to them. When enraged, they may forget that and use one as a weapon.

 

AC 9 [10] + special, HD 3* (14 HP), ATT 1 x charge or book bludgeon (see specials), THACO 16 [+3], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F3), ML 10, AL Lawful, XP 80, NA 1d3 (1d3), TT None (on 1 in 6 a librarian will have a single scroll)

Specials: Mundane damage immunity

Charge - deal 1d6 cold damage and paralysis for a round by passing through a target. Save vs breath negates.

Book bludgeon - when hit, librarians become enraged on 2 in 6. In this state, they may attack by hurling a book via telekinesis. Automatically hits, 1d4 improvised weapon damage.

 

Paintings 

 

Paintings like to attack from concealment, and drag victims back into their frames. Perhaps they make interesting scenery.

 

AC 7 [12], HD 4* (18 HP), ATT 1 by weapon, THACO 15 [+4], MV 120' (40'), SV 10 11 12 13 14 (F4), ML 8, AL Lawful, XP 130, NA 1 (1d3), TT S

 

Specials: Paintings are immune to piercing or bashing damage and take double damage from fire. 

Lead white: Burning paintings emit toxic fumes. Characters within 5 feet take -2 to next turn. Save vs breath negates.

Drag: on a successful attack, a painting can choose to disarm rather than inflict damage. Disarming succeeds on a STR vs STR roll. The target is automatically grappled and may be dragged into a painting.

Poltergeists

 

Knots of emotion and psychic force which fling objects to express themselves. Poltergeists are attracted to strong emotions among characters. They sense these from several rooms away.

AC 9 [10], HD 3* (14 HP), ATT 1 x 1d4, THACO 16 [+3], MV 90' (30'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F3), ML 8, AL Chaotic, XP 80, NA 1 (1), TT None

 

Specials: Mundane damage immunity

Invisibility (as spell), permanent

Telekinesis (as spell), twice daily

 

Living statues

 

Slow but powerful. They carry books, and they want the characters to read them. Statues don't speak or show any emotion. Once a character passes by, it noiselessly steps down from its plinth and follows. When the character pauses, it closes the distance for a grapple attempt. If successful, they force the character to read one of the unsettling passages in their book. At 0 HP they crumble to fragments.

AC 3 [16], HD 6 (30 HP), ATT 1 x 1d6, THACO 16 [+3], MV 60' (20'), SV 10 11 12 13 14 (F6), ML 8, AL Chaotic, XP 275, NA 1 (1d3), TT None (1 book as cursed scroll)

Specials: Statues do not receive a bonus to attacking retreating opponents.

Harsh truth: If forced to read from a statue's book, a character develops a phobia or hindering mental condition until leaving the library. Save vs devices negates.

Demons

 

Howlers

 

Shaggy Halfling-sized creatures. They hunt alone, then howl to summon their pack when they spot prey. Howlers are lesser demons - mindless, hungry beasts. They creep in where earthly space becomes corrupt enough to permit them. Books mean nothing to them. They're often killed by other supernatural creatures for damaging them.

AC 8 [12], HD 1 (4 HP), ATT 1 x bite (1d6) or 2 x claw (1d4), THACO 18 [+1], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F1), ML 10, AL Chaotic, XP 80, NA 2d6 (2d6), TT None

 

Imps

 

Merry little tricksters. They think jokes that involve someone getting hurt are the funniest. They'll grease your sword hilt. They'll tie your boots together and yell to disturb a ghost. They'll stuff an angry ferret in your lunchbox.

 

AC 3 [16], HD 1 (4 HP), ATT -, THACO 18 [+1], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F1), ML 8, AL Chaotic, XP 10, NA 2d10 (3d12), TT P

 

Greater demons

They're here to consult a book, like you are. They don't appreciate being disturbed.

 

AC 4 [15], HD 6* (27 HP), ATT 1 by weapon or special (see list), THACO 13 [+6], MV 120' (40'), SV 10 11 12 13 14 (F6), ML 8, AL Chaotic, XP 1050, NA 1 (-), TT I

 Specials: 

Supernatural attacks: the demon will have one of the following powers.

• Scorpion tail, 1d8 + poison
• Acid breath, 1d6 + fills a square for 3 rounds
• Flaming claws, 2d6
• Insect swarm, 1d4 + -1 per round for 3 rounds
• Tongue tentacle, 1d6 constriction damage + lost turn
• Shriek, 1d4 + -2 from ghostly visions for 3 rounds, save vs paralysis negates

Magic: A greater demon will know 1d6 spells from Dispel Magic, Protection from Good, Invisibility, Detect Invisible, Mirror image, Hold Portal.

Retainers: The demon is accompanied by 1d4-1 retainers who will fight to the death to protect it. As Fighter 3.

The Silence

The Silence isn't a physical presence. It's a leaden tiredness that comes over you. It makes your weapons heavy and your pack uncomfortable. You feel like you've been walking for days. The room is stuffy and dim. The gloom seems to swallow up noise. Surely you can take five minutes to sit and rest, maybe read a little...

Noise attracts it, especially talking. Each turn spent in its presence, save vs magic. On success, nothing happens. On failure, lose 1d4 HP without noticing. Leaving The Silence's influence is as easy as stepping into the next room, but it follows at a rate of 1 room/turn.

Cultist collector

A B/X compatible monster inspired by this image. Which might actually be intended for an RPG sourcebook, the artist has done work for Pathfinder. It's probably intended to be a cultist who is a collector, but I choose to read it as a collector of cultists. Bits of cultists, anyway.

The Collector is a summonable intelligent undead creature typically used by cult leaders to punish followers. It loves to hunt and inspire fear in its prey, so it turns the killing into a chase drawn out over hours or days. When the prey is too exhausted to run any further, the Collector will saw their hands off to keep. Then it torments them with its spears until they die.

When first summoned, the Collector is just a cloud of mist. In that form, it can inflict nightmares on a sleeping victim, gradually using their fear to manifest itself in a physical form. From that point it can take mist form at will and uses it for fast travel. In a chase, the prey finds the Collector manifesting ahead of them when they run in any direction other than the one the Collector wants. If the prey loses their fear of the Collector, it has only its stored reserve of fear to call on. When that's used up, it can no longer manifest physically.

The Collector enjoys its job, and even while bound will usually respond to summonings to see if there's another hunt to be had after this one.

AC 9 [13], HD 5 (23HP), Att 1 x spear (1d6), THAC0 12 [+5], MV 120' (40'/100' in mist form), SV 10 11 12 13 14 (F5), ML 8, AL Chaotic, XP 550, TT - (1d4-1 magic items)

Specials:

Undead: Make no noise, until they attack. Immune to effects that affect living creatures (e.g. poison). Immune to mind-affecting or mind-reading spells (e.g. charm, hold, sleep).

Holy undead: Cannot be turned by someone of the same religion as the summoner.

Mist form: The Collector can transform into mist or back as a standard action.

Library bestiary part 2 - Marginalia

Part 2 of the cursed library bestiary. Find part 1 here.

Marginalia

The art of decorating manuscript margins with educational, comical or topical images is called illumination. The curse brings these illuminated images to life in parts of the library that don't get much foot traffic. Most aren't hostile, but they can be noisy if roused and in the library's deep places, noise will attract worse things than Marginalia.

Drolleries 

Drolleries are the standard illumination images - rabbits holding swords, knights riding snails, armoured men with fish on their heads. In the library they're fully-formed beings, but all have a faint parchment-like quality about them. When they move, it's often with the sound of a page turning.

Frequently-encountered drolleries include:

The Snail knight, who rides a giant snail mount. He may challenge the party to a test of honour, hinting that he has vital knowledge that he can only share with fellow cavaliers. The truth is, he only knows the history of a single isolated war.

AC 3 [16] + special (see end of section), HD 4 (18 HP), ATT 1 x lance (1d6), THACO 17 [+2], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F1) ML 8, AL Lawful, XP 175, NA 1 (1), TT None

The Fish knight, who has two brass fish on the side of his helmet. He immediately pledges his undying loyalty to the party and swears to fight and die for the success of their quest. He absolutely will not enter combat, but does loot the body of anyone killed and then try to escape.

AC 3 [16] + special (see end of section), HD 5 (23 HP), ATT 1 x sword (1d8), THACO 17 [+2], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F1) ML 8, AL Lawful, XP 425, NA 1 (1), TT None

Armed rabbits, who team up against any armed person they come across. They use clever strategy and acrobatics and form a serious threat. Even so, they usually make a disciplined retreat before they can do any significant harm. The retreat is via a path through traps they set earlier.

AC 8 [11] + special (see end of section), HD 1-3 (5-14 HP), ATT 1 x weapon, THACO 19 [0], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F1-3) ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 16/26/41, NA 1d4 (1d4), TT None

Suffering saints, who may be sick, injured, starved, tortured or in pieces. They call to the party to pray with them, but resist any efforts to help them. Their suffering is a personal sacrifice to their god. Drama queens, every single one of them.

AC 8 [11] + special (see end of section), HD 5 (18 HP), ATT -, THACO 17 [+2], MV -, SV 9 10 12 14 12 (C5) ML 8, AL Lawful, XP 0, NA 1 (1), TT None

The Dying king, who was too stubborn to listen to prophets and saints, and is now paying the price. Like the Suffering Saints, he resists assistance. His only purpose now is to warn others not to make his mistake. The crime he describes is so mild or obscure that it makes the whole ordeal ridiculous.

AC 5 [14] + special (see end of section), HD 6 (27 HP), ATT -, THACO 17 [+2], MV -, SV 10 11 12 13 14 (F6) ML 8, AL Lawful, XP 0, NA 1 (1), TT None

Badly-drawn animals, who mill around making the sort of noises only someone who had never seen one in the flesh would expect. Not hostile, but may panic and run in any direction if spooked.

AC 8 [11] + special (see below), HD 1/2 (4/9 HP), ATT 1 x butt (1d4), THACO 19 [0], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F1) ML 5, AL Neutral, XP 16/28, NA 1d3 (1d3), TT None 

Specials: All drolleries are immune to piercing or bludgeoning damage and take double damage from fire. Anything taken from a drollery turns to paper in a few seconds.

Historia 

Historia are images of actual figures from history: saints, kings, heretical bishops, even a few scientists. They can be found doing the things the people they represent could be expected to do in a library. Reading books, giving dry lectures, ordering troops to reinforce the northern border against invaders.

Historia always know where in the library their book is, and what it contains.

Stats: Apply five levels of whatever class is appropriate for the character. Treasure type L (illuminated manuscripts were occasionally decorated with gold leaf and crushed gemstones).

Specials: Historia  have the same specials as Drolleries (see above).

Parodia 

Parodia are similar to Historia, but these images were created to mock their subjects. They may be cross-eyed, have enormous warts on their faces, and wear expressions of bucolic stupidity. They know nothing useful and spend their time performing ridiculous acts. Like Historia, they're not much threat in a fight, but Parodia love to prank people by tripping them on stairs, slamming doors on them, pushing items down from high places, etc.

Stats: As for Historia.

Rubrics

Rubrics are also similar to Historia, but have a faint pink hue to them. They're blood drinkers and the more they drink, the darker their shade and the greater their power. A fully crimson Rubric is a creature to be wary of. They make no use of stealth and repeatedly shout an obscure phrase as a battle cry.

AC 8 [11], HD 2 (9 HP), ATT 1 x weapon or bite (1d6, see specials), THACO 19 [0], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F2) ML 8, AL Chaotic, XP 26, NA 1d3 (1d3), TT None

Specials: 

Attack improvement: For each 10 points of HP damage done by bite attacks, the Rubric gains +2 to attacks and -2 to Save targets. 

Damage: Rubrics are immune to piercing or bludgeoning damage and take double damage from fire. Anything taken from a rubric turns to paper in a few seconds.

Grotesques

Grotesques are simply faces. Blocky and panel-shaped, wrapped in hair or leaves and ivy. They possess and animate furniture.  Someone who sits without looking may be bucked off a chair, or have their gear scattered by a spooked table. In groups, Grotesques will act like herd animals - the larger ones may attack to protect the smaller ones, who retreat in panic.

Basic chair

AC 8 [11], HD 2 (9 HP), ATT 1 x bite or kick (1d4), THACO 19 [0], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F2) ML 6, AL Neutral, XP 20, NA 2d6 (2d6), TT None

Wingback chair

AC 8 [11], HD 3 (14 HP), ATT 1 x bite or kick (1d4), THACO 19 [0], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F3) ML 6, AL Neutral, XP 35, NA 1d4 (1d4), TT None

Stool

AC 8 [11], HD 1 (5 HP), ATT 1 x bite or kick (1d4), THACO 19 [0], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F3) ML 6, AL Neutral, XP 10, NA 1 (1d2), TT None 

Desk

AC 8 [11], HD 5 (23 HP), ATT 1 x bite or kick (1d6), THACO 17 [+2], MV 120' (40'), SV 10 11 12 13 14 (F5) ML 6, AL Neutral, XP 175, NA 1 (1d4), TT None 

Table

AC 8 [11], HD 4 (14 HP), ATT 1 x bite or kick (1d4), THACO 17 [+2], MV 120' (40'), SV 10 11 12 13 14 (F4) ML 6, AL Neutral, XP 75, NA 1d2 (1d6), TT None 

Podium

AC 8 [11], HD 2 (9 HP), ATT 1 x bite or kick (1d4), THACO 19 [0], MV 120' (40'), SV 12 13 14 15 16 (F2) ML 6, AL Neutral, XP 20, NA 1 (1d2), TT None

B/X compatible monster: Figthing

The One Page Game Jam has ended, and the entries are available for browsing.

They're a fun bunch of games, but some are a challenge to read. There are handwritten documents, background images that don't contrast the text enough, and in some cases a complete indifference to spelling. One game had a section of 'figthing rules'. To my disappointment, it wasn't rules for things made of figs, it was the combat system. So here's a hostile thing made of figs, for which you might also need some figthing fighting rules.

Figthing

A 7' golem molded from bruised and overripe figs. It squelches as it moves, and carries a buzzing cloud of wasps with it. They crawl on and inside it and form a second threat for an adventuring party to handle. Figthings form (super-) naturally in abandoned fig groves under the influence of awakened wasp nests. They stand in the shadows of trees where they won't dry out, immobile until the wasps detect intruders. Then they attack. A figthing is typically active for two to three weeks before fermentation and rot force its wasps to move on and it loses its animating force.

AC 8[11], HD 4 (18 HP), ATT 1 x fist (1d6) + special (see below), THACO 17 [+2], MV 120' (40'), SV 10 11 12 13 14 (F4) ML 12, AL Neutral, XP 225, NA 1d4 (1d4), TT None

Specials:

Mundane damage immunity: Can only be harmed by magical attacks.

Splatter: Every second round as a free action the figthing can hurl a wad of sticky fruit pulp. If it hits, the target will be swarmed by wasps for automatic damage of 1HP per round and -2 to any action until they take a full round to scrape it off.

Asphyxiate: The figthing can pass up a normal attack to grab an opponent in an adjacent square. STR vs STR to resist. If it succeeds, it will attempt to shove the gripped creature into itself to smother in sticky pulp. Drowning rules apply.

Edible: Each person who joins the attempt can gather 1d4+2 rations of fruit pulp. It spoils in three days unless preserved. A resourceful adventurer would make jam.

Cursed items

A list of six cursed items that do exactly what they seem to do.

My concept of cursed items isn't objects that stick you with a negative modifier and can't be put down - although those have their place. It's perfectly serviceable items that perform a valuable function in a way that compromises the character's values.

Admittedly that's not much of a threat to murderhobo characters. But the caveats for these items should at least make non-chaotic players pause and then avoid the GM's eye while mumbling about the end justifying the means!

1. Death Holds No Secrets

A gem-studded collar that can temporarily revive a being dead for less than INT bonus days and no more than user's level+INT bonus HD to answer three questions in full. The being can save vs Magic to resist. After the questions have been answered, the collar returns the being to its rest.

After Death Holds No Secrets has passed out of range, there is a 3-in-6 chance of the being reviving again as a hostile undead with HD up to user's level.

2. Stand-Alone

A sword with faceted obsidian inlaid in the pommel in place of a gem. It allows the user to reduce the closest ally NPC's STR bonus by 1 in order to gain the same bonus until the end of a combat. The borrowed strength does not return to the NPC.

 

(Technically, the effect should apply to PCs as well. Would you want to be in that game? I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to be the same building.)

3. The Uneasy Crown

A simple gold crown, decorated with gold wire and rubies. This item only works if placed on a second person's head by someone who knows the passphrase, 'uneasy is the head'. After that, if the crowned one gives an order anyone with a lower charisma modifier will carry it out automatically, provided it isn't dangerous to them. (Save vs device to resist.) Each time an order is given, the crown tightens slightly. It cannot be removed until the person who crowned the wearer speaks the passphrase. That person is immune to the crown's effects. After being removed it cannot be used again by the same wearer. It will immediately tighten until it's too small to place on their head.

4. The Mirror Gem

The owner of this gem can enter a magical sleep and possess whoever wears the gem. The possessed wearer will look and sound like the owner, and has no will of their own while their actions are being directed. The wearer takes 1d4 HP damage each week they wear the gem. That damage can never be recovered.

5. Man-breaker

This is a lash with a core of hardened clay in the hollow handle. Each time it's used on a person, the victim loses a point from either INT, WIS or CHA and gains one in STR or CON. Over time their skin becomes more and more clay-like until they lose their last point of mental attributes and transform fully into a clay golem, good only for manual labour.

6. Persuasion

 

A narrow chain, with spiked links. If one of the spikes is used to nick a victim, the entire cord will slither inside through the wound and coil around their bones. From that point, if they refuse to follow when ordered to the chain will constrict, causing awful pain. Persuasion leaves a body the way it enters, but causes a lot more damage in the process. Most die.

The Magic Items of Ha'Dwair

I'm pretty sure everyone who plays a fantasy RPG (and especially D&D-ish RPGs) comes to the realisation that to a medieval peasant a laser gun is a magic wand, a robot is a man in armour and a spaceship is a godly chariot. Of course, that would also apply to modern objects, not just futuristic ones.

The wizard of Ha'Dwair sells his wares from a hut of sparkling glass, filled with moving images and brightly-painted runes of obscure meaning. They're reliable, if heavy, and he makes sure to show customers how to use them safely and check for remaining charges and mana. He often seems confused about what adventurers are actually doing with them, but it's worth ignoring his eccentricities to deal with a wizard who is helpful, reliable and doesn't smell like weasels live in his clothes.

Wands

When a wand runs out of mana or charges, the wizard will re-empower it for a modest fee.

Maa-ki-tah's Wand of Iron Spikes

This wand produces iron spikes from nowhere. If held against a door frame, it can spike it open or shut instantly. It makes a noise like a dragon coughing, but quieter than a hammer. Triggers an encounter check.

If used in battle Maa-ki-tah's wand is only useful against opponents in plate, or carrying a shield, or encased in tough hide. It ignores AC and does 1d6 damage.

DeWalt's Disc-Axe *

At the end of this wand is a spinning disc with intricately-carved teeth along the edge. It's devastating in battle, but its main use is quickly making entrances and exits by cutting through wooden doors, walls, floors and ceilings. If used on metal, the disc is blunted until the user painstakingly files the teeth back to sharpness. Louder than an axe. Triggers an encounter check.

Rio Bi's Self-propelling Drill

Unlike an iron-worker's self-propelling drill, this wand doesn't need to be hand-cranked. The user simply places it against the surface to be holed and presses a stud, allowing for accuracy and speed. A perfect thief's tool, it can disable locks and create spy holes. The bit can be exchanged for one of a different size with nothing more than the twist of a key. It can be kept quiet if used gently, but makes stealth impossible.

Bosh's Excellent Portable Forge

The forge is made up a of a hand-pulled two-wheeled cart, a large metal flask and the hellfire wand. The cart is light but strong and can hold the weight of several people. The flask is cold to the touch but contains alchemist's fire. If dropped from a great height, it will rupture in an explosion like a dragon attack. The hellfire wand produces a hot, bright flame that melts through copper and tin in seconds and iron in minutes. The flame should not be looked at directly, hellfire is not kind to mortal eyes. A skilled smith can use it to repair damaged weapons and armour while delving.

Armour

The wizard of Ha'Dwair's armour isn't quite on the same level as his wands. In fact, a lot of it is near-useless. What good is armour that makes you more likely to be seen? Still, he often gives it away for nothing with a wand and it's not smart to refuse a wizard's gift.

The Rigid Helm

Someone wearing the Rigid Helm can withstand mighty blows to the top of their head. It offers much less protection against lateral attacks. Rub some mud on it, it's bright orange.

The Invisible Eye-Ward

Not actually invisible, but you can see through this light-but-tough protector like it was glass. Perfect for looking through keyholes that might contain poison needle traps.

Note: Not arrow-proof.

The Vest of Revealing

This vest offers no armour bonus at all, and it's a vivid yellow and orange so bright they seem to glow. Maybe you could slit it down the sides and drape it over the best-armoured member of the party to make them the focus of incoming attacks? There's no obvious benefit to it, but the wizard insists that everyone take one.

Gloves of Improved Grip

Thin gloves that protect like thick leather gloves, offering all the convenience of ‒ look, just take them. They're free. Take them.

Boots of Hardness

Ah, now these are something special! Boots that never slip on any solid surface and have iron caps stitched into the leather. Good for fighting kobolds, goblins and other scum that love to stab an honest fighting man in the foot.

* With thanks to William Hope Hodgson

Horrible House playtest

I've written a procedural OSR-style adventure in the vein of Emmy Allen's Stygian Library. Having just come off a Shadowrun campaign, my Tuesday night gaming group are letting me run a playtest game. We're playing via Roll20 at the moment, our rooms at the local university having been shut down as a coronavirus measure.

The idea is that the characters enter a generally normal-seeming Victorian mansion with a chained angel at its heart and things get stranger and more threatening as they move further inside. I copied Emmy's depth mechanic almost unchanged.

This is all being done using Ben Milton's Knave as the system, with a few houserules. The characters are starting the adventure at level 3 because I'm not sure the players are ready to embrace the cheapness of life in OSR games just yet.

The characters are:

Maximus (Max) Johnson, played by James K. A student, mostly of ways to make other people's property into his property. Has been exiled in the past.

Adelaide, played by Tim. A gambler, who has been disowned.

Iris MacLeod, played by Theo. A herbalist who is suspected of crimes.

Castor, played by Mila. A poverty-stricken magician who carries around a hen named Eggrietta.

Karros Shepherd, played by James C. A tracker who has been replaced in his job.

The party started on the front porch. They needed to enter the house to find out what happened to the delegation of clergy they were supposed to accompany as a cover. They also had instructions to retrieve the magic tome Ivan Vantig (the owner) used to snare an angel.

There was no-one visible from the porch, just a swing seat creaking in the morning breeze. Adelaide and Iris approached, and the seat cast Charm. Adelaide successfully resisted but Iris sat down and the swing seat launched her into the air, inflicting 1d6 damage. She picked herself up and the party entered.

At depth 1 they found themselves not in a foyer or entrance hall, but in a portrait gallery. Max tried taking one of the several brass candelabra lighting the paintings, but it squirmed out of his grip. It backed away from the party, but stayed close, helpfully attempting to illuminate whatever they looked at. They were distracted from examining the paintings by their shadows, who were doing their own thing rather than mimicking the characters' actions. The shadows were miming their normal morning routines, so the characters wrote it off as odd but harmless. They proceeded into the next room.

Depth 2 found them in the house's private theatre, which the Vantig children had clearly been using as a playroom. There was a small pile of toys on the stage. Looking through them, Iris and Adelaide found a pair of earrings and a necklace. They might be costume jewellery, but they have the weight of the real thing, so they split the pieces between them and wore them to save inventory space. They also found a sheet of paper which had symbols scribbled on either side. The characters recognised one as a name in angelic script: Nelphael. The other is the demonic glyph AGA, meaning confinement.

(I made a mistake here. I made the players roll to recognise the symbols when I should have just given Castor the magician's player the information.)

There were a couple of (non-creepy) dolls in the pile, one with a button eye hanging loose from a thread. Castor repaired it as a gesture of good will in case the dolls came to life and tried to stab them in their sleep later. That took long enough for a random encounter roll and they found themselves attacked by three Wig Beasts. Springing from among the costume equipment, I gave the beasts surprise. It took two full rounds to put them down, during which Iris took more damage. (I took the Wig Beast damage die down to 1d4 when I realised these creatures which I intended to be just an annoyance were a genuine threat.)

Iris and Adelaide (who were co-incidentally the front line for the battle) both lost big tufts of hair to the beasts' attempts to sink tap roots into their scalps. Iris was hurt badly enough to take 10 minutes to prepare a dose of her healing herbs. There was no encounter during that turn. The candelabrum, which had followed them from a previous room, accidentally set the stage curtains on fire. They managed to pull it down and stamp it out before it spread.

It was a game with a lot of prep, so that was as far as we got. Tonight's session continues from there.

One page game: Road Warlock

A free one-page game created to answer the question "what if the vehicles in a post-apocalyptic road warrior movie were demons that crave speed and violence?"

Partly inspired by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's book Good Omens, in which the demon Crowley arranges the layout of a motorway overpass to create a bad-vibes-generating satanic glyph when people drive over it.

I may have missed an opportunity by not adding drop bears to the bestiary. Maybe in future editions. Click here to get it.

And since it's an excellent time to be gaming by yourself at home, here's a link to my diceless solo gaming engine.

Exalted 2.5 hack

Exalted 2nd edition is a fun RPG, but crunchy. The complexity of the rules mean there's never going to be any such thing as a pickup game of Exalted unless you're willing to play one of the many adaptations out there. Here's mine.

It's based on Cthulhu Dark's roll-keep-highest system, intended only for playing Solar Exalted and makes no effort to cover sorcery. (In all the time I spent thinking about it, I never came up with a solution I liked better than the one from Daiklaive Qwixalted. That's what I've used in play.)

As a teaser, here's a set of example artefacts I wrote up to demonstrate that not every magitech item you're packing has to be another eight-foot sword:

Mountain Rises, Mountain Falls

"The Exalt and the Demon fell from Heaven, cursing and clawing at each other as they tumbled. Their impact on Creation left a crater as deep as a tall man's length. Swords broken, armour cracked, drained of essence, they glared hatred at each other as they lay exhausted. 

"Long Stride gained his feet first. Having no other weapon to hand, he raised a torso-sized rock over his head and bludgeoned the Demon with it."

Mountain Rises, Mountain Falls is a warhammer made of rough-hewn stone banded and capped with orihalcum and fixed to a five-foot haft. Too heavy for an ordinary man to lift, never mind wield in battle, a blow from this hammer could fell a mammoth.

When spending a mote and striking the ground during battle, opponents must succeed in a roll vs character's essence die/2 or be knocked prone, stepping their side's combat dice down by one step for a turn

Lamentation

"The beast called Sorrow rode down the mountainside. It was atop a pile of tumbling, rolling skulls, laughing as it came. The Excellent Harp recognised her husband's skull by the jewels set in its forehead. She was too late.

"As it raised its bow to end her life and collect her skull, she spoke to it of the affection they had shared. The slow, halting blossom of love. And the enduring oneness it had ended with a single act of savagery. Ten minutes later, with her ready assistance, it hanged itself with its own bowstring." 

Lamentation is a bow formed from the ivory of some unknown beast, decorated with rings, ribbons, and scraps of silken veils. The beast Sorrow preferred to kill married men and women, and decorated its weapon with their scavenged love tokens. It has been restrung with a single strand of orihalcum wire.

When spending a mote and shaking the bow so it jingles, all opposing combatants who have a lover on the battlefield must succeed in a roll vs character's essence die/2 or be frozen in horror for a turn, stepping their side's combat dice down by one step.

Whisper

"When Sanshu left his lover's arms he stole away every trace of his presence. Even the smell of the flowers he brought her. Still, her husband the Magistrate felt that something was wrong. Sanshu was known to take strands of women's hair as souvenirs. The Magistrate counted every hair on his wife's head. Then he was satisfied she was faithful. 

"It was years later he realised the strand of her hair he kept in a locket around his neck was gone." 

Whisper is a rope woven from orihalcum wire, silk fibres, pattern spider cobweb and women's hair. It's light, durable, and seems to know its master's desires.

This rope is very nearly unbreakable, and when spending a mote and tying a knot in it, suppresses any noise its master makes.

Wizard Squad AP and an adventure

Recently I got a chance to playtest Wizard Squad with my usual group and give them a chance to break my game. The lesson for me in this is 'be careful what you wish for'.  The scenario we played was The Doom that came to Springhill.  Click the name there to download a copy. 

Character creation

The usual suspects were present: Tim, Theo, James 1 and Mila.

Character creation was relatively straightforward, but I had difficulty explaining the magic system concepts: your techniques and forms describe the magic your wizard knows, you can custom-build any spell that draws on those practices, each morning you choose the spells that will be available to you to cast for that day. Effectively it's Vancian magic, but it eliminates pre-written level-based spell lists. The players seemed to like that idea.

Tim rolled up Smith Johns, a relatively hardy wizard with magic techniques in Harming/Diminishing and Person. His specialty was Bureaucracy and his advantage was Reputation. We decided that he was quite a legalistic magic user who had successfully taken a number of minor nobles to court.

Theo created Desmond Aster, Des to his friends. His techniques were Summon, Transform, Spirit and Beast. He immediately created a spell to turn people into sheep. He also asked if it was possible to interpret spirits as distilled spirits and create a spell of summon whiskey. We agreed that it was only logical. His specialty was languages and his advantage Official Contacts, so he came from a diplomatic background.

James 1 made The Great Kazaam. His techniques were Heal/Enhance and Person. Unfortunately he rolled the lowest possible HP, so he wouldn't be doing much healing. His advantage was a spirit companion named Fred, who no-one else could see or hear. They just thought The Great Kazaam was kind of weird, but knew things.

Mila rolled up Me Reana, a sorceress with magic for Move, Element, Person, Beast. She immediately created a spell to give flight to flightless animals, a second one to suck spirits into jars to capture them and another she called Earthbending. Her specialty was investigation and her advantage was a minor magical item. After some negotiation we agreed that she had a bag of holding, but the opening was too small for anything larger than her fist.

Des then asked me if it was possible to create a spell to transform spirits into whiskey so they could be sucked into Me's bottles and stored as a refreshing drink in her pouch of holding. I reluctantly admitted that the rules could be interpreted to allow it, but I planned this as a serious game and meant to veto any magic that seemed too ridiculous. Everyone agreed, knowing full well that my games turn ridiculous no matter what my intentions are.

The squad was dispatched to the tiny isolated village of Springhill, where children were vanishing and monsters have been seen in the woods.

The game

The party arrived in Springhill where the mayor’s man failed to meet them as arranged. They headed for the pub, where they learned that talk about monsters abducting or eating children made the innkeeper nervous and he clammed up. At least they got their drinks for free.

They found the mayor, who was riding back into town from negotiating with a mercenary company encamped by the main road. There’s nothing for miles around, so the concern is that the company is here to sack the town. The mayor gave them details about the missing children and their families and the squad went off to investigate.

Talking to the families they learned that all three of the vanished children spent their free time around a swimming hole upriver, and also that a season earlier there had been a late-night display of weird lights over the hill that gave the town its name. They checked out the swimming hole and saw nothing unusual until Me earth-bent the river bed to rise and show itself above the water line. Then they found a number of fish with pig-like features and river weed that seemed to be budding pig fetuses instead of seed pods. The squad theorised that the disappeared children had become the monsters seen in the woods, and it was something in the water that changed them.

Smith issued the river a ticket for concealing evidence, and a receipt for the items they seized for investigation. The other sorcerers began to understand why a successful wizard like him got sent on an investigation at the arse-end of the kingdom.

They travelled upriver, looking for the hillside spring that was its source. All of them struggled inside the cave mouth against the water’s flow, but Smith lost his grip and got swept nearly a mile downriver before he could leave the water. He issued it a ticket for impeding an officer of the law in his duties. The others pushed on, but soon found the way impassable. Kazaam had the idea of letting Des change him into spirit form so he could continue through the spring. [Ordinarily I would have said no to this because Des didn't have that spell on his prepared list, but the game had a fairly strict time limit and I felt like we needed to move things along.] Exploring in this form, he soon found himself halted by a barrier of invisible force. He called the others up and with Des’ help he had the power to force his way through. That weakened the barrier enough for Des to follow. Me earth-bent an alcove next to the force wall where someone could work out of the water flow, and went after them.

Smith arrived, recognised Me’s alcove for what it was and pushed on. The barrier could only offer token resistance at this point. He scrawled a hasty ticket and dropped it as he hurried past.

Moving ahead of the squad, Kazaam entered a large dry room with unmistakable old-kingdom construction. He spotted lights and raised voices in the distance. Des used a spell to give himself the appearance of a spirit - invisibility - and joined him. They found the room was a grid of stone vats filled with a milky fluid in which a herd of pigs were growing to maturity with unnatural speed. The voices were a trio of men slaughtering and butchering full-grown pigs.

Kazaam flew close and ordered them to stop. The oldest man waved a hand through his immaterial body and told him that no, he didn’t think they would. He sent one of the younger ones to fetch help. Kazaam sent Fred the spirit to follow him, but he lost track of the man in the darkness and twisting pathway out of the hill.

Des recognised enough of the old-kingdom glyphs on the walls to have a good chance at deactivating the room without destroying it. He went for it, and successfully turned off the controlling device overhead. The vats hardened into milky glass and went inert. The two remaining men tried to make a fight of it, but Des turned them into sheep.

The session ended there, but in the postscript the wizard squad went on to arrest a local farmer and his two sons, along with the mayor and the innkeeper. Deprived of the supplies they needed to cross the northern wasteland and attack a keep from the blind side, the mercenaries threatened to sack the town, but Des offered to fix their provisioning problem by turning the first half dozen men to reach for their weapons into mutton. The three missing children were rounded up and after several months of intensive research, returned to human form by the wizard academy.

Conclusions

Playtests never take place under ideal conditions, have you noticed? In this case we didn’t have our usual rooms at the university, so we played outside in the courtyard. The weather was good for it, but the sun went down and we were reduced to squinting and using our cellphone lights to read character sheets until the overhead lights came on - after we finished. With the venue problem, transport issues and character creation, we didn’t get started until late. It was only intended to be one session, so it had to be a 90-minute game.

I threw out a whole bunch of clues, some useful and some not. I intended to curse the players with an overabundance of evidence and force them to sort through it all. Instead (perhaps because they chose to investigate the spookiest clues first), they bypassed most of the mystery and headed straight for the problem’s source inside the hill.

By running Wizard Squad I learned that:

• Players suffer from the blank page problem and need some prompting to start coming up with their own spells. 
• But once they get into the swing of things you can’t stop them inventing new spells and wanting to try them out immediately.
• Players with a D&D background got the magic system immediately. Other players needed more of an explanation. Is it still a one-page game if you bundle it with an adventure, an extended bestiary and a couple examples of play? 
• The game is unplayable without houseruling, which is pretty much what I expected. 

House rules

These were all developed through play.

• The standard die for magic is a d4. Healing? D4 + level HP. Transforming? D4 + level minutes at base cost. 
• Some effects revert back after the spell wears off, some don't. Rule of common sense applies.
• Some spells require a roll to cast, some are automatic. Once again, rule of common sense.
• Players want to experiment with new spells as they come to mind, even if they're not playable that in-game day. The compromise I came up with is to allow a flashback to the wizard academy, where the character tries the spell out for the first time. The player must make a roll. If they miss the target by three or more, it's an undershoot. Roll a d6 and consult this table:
  
  1 - 3 - spell fails and accidentally ruins another student's experiment.
  4 - 5 - spell fails and the PC looks foolish, under-prepared, or over-confident in front of academy staff.
  6 - spell misfires and there's property damage or injury.
  
  If they exceed the target by three or more, it's an overshoot. Roll a d6 and consult this table:
  
  1 - 3 - spell succeeds and the PC looks organised, confident and in control.
  4 - 5 - spell succeeds and the PC impresses a senior wizard.
  6 - spell succeeds and reveals a hidden truth that solves a question the academy has been struggling with for months.

Wearable monsters

Yes, that sort of wearable monster.
Image from www.maxpixel.net

I was browsing Old School RPG Planet's bloglist late at night and found myself reading a post about wandering monsters. I was half-asleep and read that as wearable monsters until I was nearly done with the post and hadn't seen a single reference to wearing monsters and wasn't that a fundamentally dumb idea?

*cough* So anyway, here's a list of wearable monsters. Blame them on Abelard the Unreliable. I'm not sure why I gave them statblocks.

Wig beast

This creature wants to yank your hair out and sink tap roots into your scalp. The benefit is that you'll have a full head of thick and luxurious hair once it settles in place. They can be trained into elaborate styles, and change shades depending on your diet. The down side is that your own hair never grows back and the wig beast has an unpredictable lifespan. It may just expire and slide off your scarred scalp in public. They tend to target older women and fashionable young men.

AC 6 [13], HD 1-2 (2hp), Att 1 × hair pull (1d4-1), THAC0 19, MV 40’ (20’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7, AL Neutral, XP 5, NA 1d6 (3d8),  
TT -
 

Parasitic medals

They resemble gold or lapis medals with a vague decoration generic enough to just possibly belong to your army. Actually beetles that grip with their legs and bury a proboscis under the skin to draw blood. At the same time they inject a toxin that diminishes reasoning ability and increases belligerence and blood flow. Sufferers can be recognised by their ruddy complexion, disregard for strategy and over-use of phrases like "Peace was never an option" and "We have more men than they have bullets".

AC 4 [15], HD 1-2 (1hp), Att 1 × bite (1d4), THAC0 19, MV 80’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 10, AL Neutral, XP 5, NA 3d4 (4d10), TT -

Snake belt

These venomous serpents are attracted to the body heat of sleeping adventurers and eat leather. They slither close and devour an adventurer's existing belt, then slide through their trousers' belt loops to take its place. Their tails are armoured so they can grip them with their teeth and not cause themselves injury. By the time a belt snake is discovered, it's probably too late to remove it and the only option is to wait until they get hungry and slither off in search of more edible belts. Their bite causes fever and delirium.

AC 6 [13], HD 2 (8hp), Att 1 × bite (1d6+poison), THAC0 19, MV 80’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 10, NA 1d4 (3d6), 
TT -

Fleece colony

A fleece moth is a tiny wispy insect with a long, trailing fleecy tail. They collectively settle on a suitable surface and intertwine their tails, creating a light but waterproof and warm covering. Migratory hunters on the high steppes soak their clothes in the juice of the mountain thistle to attract fleece moths. The down side is that the moths only form a colony in cold weather. If a warmer (by their standard) day comes, they may abandon their garment all at once and leave the wearer in just his shirt sleeves.

AC 4 [15], HD 1-2 (1hp), Att -, THAC0 -, MV 80’ (40’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 4, AL Neutral, XP -, NA 10d100, TT -

 

Crocs

Not shoes, actually small reptiles. These swamp-dwelling mini-gators wrap themselves around the feet of careless adventurers, shred their existing footwear, and grab hold. They resist removal with nips and tail-thrashing. But on the other hand they're hard-wearing, waterproof and don't cause blisters. Some travellers think it's worth occasionally being dragged off-course to chase small game.

AC 8 [11], HD 1 (4hp), Att 1 × bite (1d6), tail-whip (1d4), THAC0 19, MV 80’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 5, NA 2, TT -

Dragon onesie

The onesie is a living organism and by putting it on you're technically stepping into its stomach. Don't worry too much about that, it's warm and dry inside. Unless you fail to keep its pockets full of gold. Then it could get a little uncomfortable. Onesies don't go adventuring to enjoy the company. A dragon onesie provides immunity to the breath weapon matching its colour.

AC 4 [15] (when worn, give the wearer chainmail-equivalent AC), HD 3 (13hp), Att 1 × bite (1d6), THAC0 19, MV 80’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F2), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 15, NA 1 (1d4), TT D

Trollskin armour

Trollskin armour has to be manufactured and the process begins with getting it off the troll. Who probably won't like it. The skin survives removal and trimming, tanning, sewing etc. When worn it gives leather-equivalent AC and also emanates a smell that frightens away animals and smaller monsters. It's self-repairing as long as it's kept well-fed.  The only way it can feed is to absorb nutrients through its skin, so the most efficient way of keeping your trollskin armour healthy is to soak it in the soup-pot after it's cooled down for a while. Wash it thoroughly or your next meal will taste like feet.

Goblin variants

Image from Wikimedia.org

I'm slowly and painfully thinking through a dungeon populated by goblins. In order to keep it interesting and justify what I hope are some genuinely underhanded tactics, I'd like to introduce a bit of variety into the inhabitants.

Ranked in order of toughness:

Goblin runt

The smallest and scrawniest of the goblins, they've had to be quick and smart to survive among their bigger kin.

AC 6, HD 1-2 (2hp), Att 1 × weapon (1d6 or by weapon), THAC0 19, MV 80’ (40’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7 (9 with king), AL Chaotic, XP 5, NA 2d4 (6d10), TT R (C)

Snot flick - a goblin with hayfever is never unarmed. Instead of attacking, a runt can flick a blob of mucus with pinpoint accuracy to a range of 10'. No damage, -2 to next attack roll.

Goblin bootlicker

These disgustingly obsequious toadies hang around with goblin pit bosses and champions, yelling warnings and throwing them extra ammo when called for.

AC 6, HD 1-2 (2hp), Att 1 × weapon (1d6 or by weapon), THAC0 19, MV 60’ (20’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7 (9 with king), AL Chaotic, XP 5, NA 2d4 (6d10), TT R (C)

Has a satchel containing (1d6):

1. dried rat meat. (1 ration)
2. goblin brew. Tastes like a bugbear's loincloth. Burns with a blue flame. Might sterilise a wound then infect it with something different.
3. part of a halfling.
4. 1d4 tallow candles.
5. 1d2 doses of berserker mead.
6. 2d6 teeth.

Goblin bomber

Easily recognised by the cooking pots they wear as helmets and the slow-matches they tuck under the brim, even goblin bullies leave these guys alone. Bombers are runts who've taken an interest in chemistry. Madder than a soup-fork and half as useful, they make bombs by packing black powder into pottery, wooden tubs, skulls, anything they can find.

AC 5, HD 1-2 (2hp), Att 1 × weapon (1d6 or by weapon), THAC0 19, MV 60’ (20’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7 (9 with king), AL Chaotic, XP 5, NA 2d4 (6d10), TT R (C)

Fire in the hole - a bomber carries 1d4 black powder grenades. Every second round they can throw one with a 15' range. On detonation, 1d6 damage to the square it lands in and 1d4 to adjacent squares. on 1-in-6 the bomb explodes while the goblin is still holding it.

Goblin shaman

Shamans typically know a few low-level spells and prepare the beserker mead that drives a few goblin warriors into a killing rage.

AC 7, HD 1-1 (3hp), Att 1 × weapon (1d6 or by weapon), THAC0 19, MV 40’ (15’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7 (9 with king), AL Chaotic, XP 5, NA 2d4 (6d10), TT R (C)

Spells known (one of): Remove Fear, Cure Light Wounds, Darkness.

1d3 pots of berserker mead: +2 Att and damage, +2 AC. Save vs poison to stop fighting.

Goblin regular

A bog-standard goblin as described in the monster manual.

AC 6, HD 1-1 (3hp), Att 1 × weapon (1d6 or by weapon), THAC0 19, MV 60’ (20’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7 (9 with king), AL Chaotic, XP 5, NA 2d4 (6d10), TT R (C)

Goblin bully

Bigger than an ordinary goblin, and meaner too. Everything they have, they've taken from someone smaller.

AC 6, HD 1 (4hp), Att 1 × weapon (1d6 or by weapon), THAC0 19, MV 60’ (20’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7 (9 with king), AL Chaotic, XP 5, NA 2d4 (6d10), TT R (C)

Gimme dat - if disarmed or jealous, a bully can take a weapon from a goblin in an adjacent square as a free action.

Goblin berserker

Frothing at the mouth, biting their own ears and attacking with no regard for an enemy's relative strength.

AC 8, HD 1 (4hp), Att 1 × weapon (+2, 1d6+2 or by weapon+2), THAC0 19, MV 60’ (20’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7 (9 with king), AL Chaotic, XP 5, NA 2d4 (6d10), TT R (C)

Goblin pit boss

Pit bosses have years of experience at not dying to adventurers. With a pit boss bellowing orders and enforcing them with kicks and punches, goblins will function like (semi-) disciplined fighters.

AC 5, HD 1+1 (5hp), Att 1 × weapon (1d6 or by weapon), THAC0 19, MV 60’ (20’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7 (9 with king), AL Chaotic, XP 10, NA 2d4 (6d10), TT R (C)

Tactics - if a pit boss has bombers, bullies will form up in front of them as a protective line while they throw bombs. If the pit boss has runts, they'll flank adventurers while the bigger goblins keep them tied up in melee. Pit bosses count as kings for morale checks.

Goblin champion

Champions have been round the block a few times, and collected a couple of souvenirs on the way. Each champion will have a minor magic item (1d6):

1. Wand of Cold, 1d6 charges.
2. +1 sword.
3. Ring of Control Animals.
4. Potion of ESP.
5. Potion of Heroism.
6. Wand of Fear.

AC 4, HD 1+2 (6hp), Att 1 × weapon (1d6 or by weapon), THAC0 19, MV 60’ (20’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7 (9 with king), AL Chaotic, XP 10, NA 2d4 (6d10), TT R (C)

Tactics - as pit boss.

Champions count as kings for morale checks.

Goblin hound

Inbred, abused and semi-feral mongrels who've had to fight for every scrap of food. On 1-in-6, they attempt to eat the closest runt instead of attacking the adventurers.

AC 7, HD 2+2 (11hp), Att 1 × bite (1d6), THAC0 17, MV 180’ (60’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 6 (8 in larger packs), AL Neutral, XP 25, NA 2d6 (3d6), TT None

Boom - sometimes bombers like to strap canisters full of powder and nails with a short fuse to hounds.

One page game: Wizard Squad

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

A free one-page game about tactically-trained wizards empowered by the state to investigate incidents of corrupted ancient magic reactivating. Semi-random character creation, 1d20 + mods vs target number. Grab it here.

Wizard Squad is set in a kingdom which is built on the ruins of an advanced civilisation that drove itself into apocalypse through excessive magic-use. Every now and then the seals and wards on some forgotten device breaks down (as often as not through tampering by someone who thinks there's something to be gained by reviving ancient sorcery) and then it's balrogs or worse.

B/X monster: Intruder undead

Art by OpenClipart-Vectors on pixabay

A B/X-compatible monster.

Ghosts are always unsettling and the stronger ones can be dangerous, but there's an even better reason you don't want them hanging around. Ghosts are an open channel between the living world and the afterlife, and sometimes that channel provides a way into the world for things that don't belong to either.

Intruder undead come from a third place which wizards have named the Plane of Restless Flesh. It's a place without structure, where boundaries constantly shift and there's no clear separation between the world and the creatures that live there. Apprentices less mindful of their dignity like to call it the Plane of Screaming Meat.

Some of the beings there have the power to possess ghosts and wear them like environmental suits that let them function in our world. They're not hostile in the way we understand it, but they have a destructive curiosity. They'll smash, rend or tear things (or people) just to see what the pieces look like.

From a combat point of view, once the characters have defeated and dismissed the intruder, they still have the ghost to deal with.

Minor intruder undead

AC 7, [12] HD 1-3* (4/9/13hp), Att x 1 (see specials), THACO 17, MV 90' (30'), SV F3, ML 12, AL Chaotic, XP 13/25/50, NA 1, TT none

• Undead: Soundless until attacking, immune to effects that require a living target (eg poison, disease), immune to mind-effecting and mind-reading spells.
• Mundane weapon immunity: Only harmed by silver or magic.
• Poltergeist: Can lift or throw items up to the size of a backpack. Items moved this way transform partially to flesh.

 

Regular intruder undead

AC 5, [14] HD 5-6** (23/26hp), Att x 1 (see specials), THACO 15, MV 90' (30'), SV F5, ML 12, AL Chaotic, XP 425/725, NA 1, TT none

• As minor intruder
• Fear: Instead of attacking, the intruder can project a fear aura that causes up to its HD in opponents to develop a sudden hysterical fear of their own bodies. Save vs magic negates.

 

Major intruder undead 

AC 3, [16] HD 7-8*** (32/36hp), Att x 1 (see specials), THACO 12, MV 90' (30'), SV F8, ML 12, AL Chaotic, XP 1650/2200, NA 1, TT none

• As regular intruder
• Possession: Instead of attacking, the intruder can attempt to possess a living being. Save vs magic prevents. They gain complete control and can make use of the following powers instead of an attack:
  Blood spray - can spray scalding hot blood from an eye socket. (2 x only, eye is destroyed in the process. Vision unaffected.)
  Crackbones - can break host's bones and extrude them through flesh to make an attack on anyone in 5" range. 1d6 damage.
  Tentacles - can extrude host's intestines through a slit in the stomach and control them like tentacles to grapple anyone in 5" range.

Body-based powers do 1d6 damage to the host each time, but the hp loss is only inflicted when the intruder leaves the body.

World turtle immobilised part 2

Further exploration of the thought experiment in which we have a world carried on the back of a turtle crash into a spherical one.  This time, the landscape underneath the turtle.

In this post I talked about a full-sized globe planet which has had a second planet, a flat one carried on the back of a juvenile world-turtle, land on its surface with minimal damage.  (IE. we still have two worlds, but they're not in great shape.)  Generations have passed, civilisation has more or less recovered from the turmoil and they're in a position to start looking around and wondering what actually happened.

What's known is that the weather is wetter, there are vast salt marshes forming to the East where the a new geographical feature blots out the sun for half the morning, and strange new animals have been seen in those regions.  And the sages, who have read the antique writings, say the winters are now milder, the summers are hotter and the year is two days shorter than it used to be.  Gods were probably involved, but there's no consensus on who they were punishing or for what.

Expeditions sent by the new empire to explore the area don't actually see the turtle with any kind of clarity.  It's too vast.  On a clear day, from a hundred miles away, you might see a hint of a head or a flipper, with a titanic disc above.  The water pouring off the disc falls into vacuum, which instantly converts it to a fog.  It drifts down, where the jet stream helps by pushing it away to the West.  There's still enough water in the air around the turtle to surround it with clouds.  They figure out it's turtle-shaped by mapping it.  On horseback by land, and by ship where its hindquarters overlap the ocean.  In the process they discover The Bite and the curious effect the blood which is still oozing from it has had on the local wildlife, but that's for a later post.

(I did a back-of-the-envelope calculation of how much water is pouring off the disc if it has the same flow rate as Niagara Falls.  Then I decided that that magic which recycles that water back onto the disc is still working — otherwise it would have doubled the amount of water on the planet's surface in the first five minutes.)

What the explorers actually see is cloud-covered lands with a strange top-heavy mountain at the centre.  It's never truly dark here  There's a bright point in the fog, lighting it from the inside.  Sometimes it's above the mountain, far away and dim, sometimes it's close and the cloud glows with a diffuse light.  (One explorer described it as 'akin to being shrunk down and standing at the centre of a cold candle flame'.)

The turtle is ringed with concentric circles of volcanic chasms because it's slowly crushing the continental plate under it (its magical nature gives it some buoyancy even in death, otherwise there'd be no slowly about it). If you remember the first post, the turtle world is the size of Ceres, which is shown on the left here compared to Earth. Its weight has created a depression around it which has filled with brine, making an inland sea a few dozen miles wide.

The area around the turtle was damaged so badly in the cataclysm that none of its life survived. The landscape is slowly being recolonised by hardy plants and a few animals that would be equally at home in a desert. The only intelligent life is a few small, migratory clans of orcs and gnolls.