Wearable monsters

Yes, that sort of wearable monster.
Image from www.maxpixel.net

I was browsing Old School RPG Planet's bloglist late at night and found myself reading a post about wandering monsters. I was half-asleep and read that as wearable monsters until I was nearly done with the post and hadn't seen a single reference to wearing monsters and wasn't that a fundamentally dumb idea?

*cough* So anyway, here's a list of wearable monsters. Blame them on Abelard the Unreliable. I'm not sure why I gave them statblocks.

Wig beast

This creature wants to yank your hair out and sink tap roots into your scalp. The benefit is that you'll have a full head of thick and luxurious hair once it settles in place. They can be trained into elaborate styles, and change shades depending on your diet. The down side is that your own hair never grows back and the wig beast has an unpredictable lifespan. It may just expire and slide off your scarred scalp in public. They tend to target older women and fashionable young men.

AC 6 [13], HD 1-2 (2hp), Att 1 × hair pull (1d4-1), THAC0 19, MV 40’ (20’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 7, AL Neutral, XP 5, NA 1d6 (3d8),  
TT -
 

Parasitic medals

They resemble gold or lapis medals with a vague decoration generic enough to just possibly belong to your army. Actually beetles that grip with their legs and bury a proboscis under the skin to draw blood. At the same time they inject a toxin that diminishes reasoning ability and increases belligerence and blood flow. Sufferers can be recognised by their ruddy complexion, disregard for strategy and over-use of phrases like "Peace was never an option" and "We have more men than they have bullets".

AC 4 [15], HD 1-2 (1hp), Att 1 × bite (1d4), THAC0 19, MV 80’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 10, AL Neutral, XP 5, NA 3d4 (4d10), TT -

Snake belt

These venomous serpents are attracted to the body heat of sleeping adventurers and eat leather. They slither close and devour an adventurer's existing belt, then slide through their trousers' belt loops to take its place. Their tails are armoured so they can grip them with their teeth and not cause themselves injury. By the time a belt snake is discovered, it's probably too late to remove it and the only option is to wait until they get hungry and slither off in search of more edible belts. Their bite causes fever and delirium.

AC 6 [13], HD 2 (8hp), Att 1 × bite (1d6+poison), THAC0 19, MV 80’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 10, NA 1d4 (3d6), 
TT -

Fleece colony

A fleece moth is a tiny wispy insect with a long, trailing fleecy tail. They collectively settle on a suitable surface and intertwine their tails, creating a light but waterproof and warm covering. Migratory hunters on the high steppes soak their clothes in the juice of the mountain thistle to attract fleece moths. The down side is that the moths only form a colony in cold weather. If a warmer (by their standard) day comes, they may abandon their garment all at once and leave the wearer in just his shirt sleeves.

AC 4 [15], HD 1-2 (1hp), Att -, THAC0 -, MV 80’ (40’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 4, AL Neutral, XP -, NA 10d100, TT -

 

Crocs

Not shoes, actually small reptiles. These swamp-dwelling mini-gators wrap themselves around the feet of careless adventurers, shred their existing footwear, and grab hold. They resist removal with nips and tail-thrashing. But on the other hand they're hard-wearing, waterproof and don't cause blisters. Some travellers think it's worth occasionally being dragged off-course to chase small game.

AC 8 [11], HD 1 (4hp), Att 1 × bite (1d6), tail-whip (1d4), THAC0 19, MV 80’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F1), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 5, NA 2, TT -

Dragon onesie

The onesie is a living organism and by putting it on you're technically stepping into its stomach. Don't worry too much about that, it's warm and dry inside. Unless you fail to keep its pockets full of gold. Then it could get a little uncomfortable. Onesies don't go adventuring to enjoy the company. A dragon onesie provides immunity to the breath weapon matching its colour.

AC 4 [15] (when worn, give the wearer chainmail-equivalent AC), HD 3 (13hp), Att 1 × bite (1d6), THAC0 19, MV 80’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F2), ML 8, AL Neutral, XP 15, NA 1 (1d4), TT D

Trollskin armour

Trollskin armour has to be manufactured and the process begins with getting it off the troll. Who probably won't like it. The skin survives removal and trimming, tanning, sewing etc. When worn it gives leather-equivalent AC and also emanates a smell that frightens away animals and smaller monsters. It's self-repairing as long as it's kept well-fed.  The only way it can feed is to absorb nutrients through its skin, so the most efficient way of keeping your trollskin armour healthy is to soak it in the soup-pot after it's cooled down for a while. Wash it thoroughly or your next meal will taste like feet.