Abelard the Unreliable was a wizard of significant power, but considerably less wisdom. People suspected he came by his talent through some unconventional parentage -- he was certainly never spotted reading a book or scroll. He was lazy, dishonest, self-aggrandising and lacked any kind of foresight. And he was often drunk. His magical exploits revolved primarily around the enchanting of coins.
- The Widow's Pension
A low-denomination coin that, when placed in a purse with other coins, will transform them overnight into coins of the same denomination. A blessing to someone poor, a curse to someone rich. Abelard was easily moved to pity by the plight of the needy, but he hated bankers. (Too many refusals to grant him credit.)
- Innkeep's bane
If this coin is used in payment, some time after it's placed in a purse with other coins, it will leap out and roll back to whoever spent it, taking all the other coins with it. Abelard loved drinking in inns and pubs, but hated innkeepers bothering him for payment. Why did they have to spoil his evening with their crass demands for sordid specie? It didn't occur to him until the first time he used it that those rolling coins would function like a big arrow pointing straight at him. And that there would be a panting innkeeper running after them carrying his barman's friend (a stout club).
- Beggar's lament
If given to a beggar or donated in an act of charity, the giver will shortly have a ridiculous encounter that ends with a significant piece of good luck (1d6):
1. Two farmers and their cronies arguing over whose geese are fatter. They will ask the character who donated the coin to be an impartial judge. When the selection is made, the loser will stomp off in a bad mood and the winner will insist that the character accept his goose as a reward for letting everyone know Farmer Murphy's fowls are the best. It's an ordinary, potentially delicious, goose.
2. A richly-dressed man trotting on a fine horse will appear. When he draws level with the character he will suddenly pause, shout that he is sick and tired of this damned excellent cloak! and throw it at the character's feet before trotting away. The cloak is of quality cloth, waterproof and warm.
3. An old man in battered armour hails the character. His daughter married a wealthy merchant and now she's insisting that he move in with them so she can look after him in his sunset years. He supposes he ought to go, his sight isn't so reliable these days. But a good sword should never retire! He offers the character a high-quality and well-maintained blade.
4. A fat, cheerful, drunk man is sitting at the roadside next to a cart with a broken axle. He can't push it to the cartwright's workshop for repair while it's weighed down by its load of good ale, but wouldn't it be a shame to pour it all out? He gives the character a full tun of quality ale. It can be easily rolled.
5. A matronly woman waves the character down. She's been baking pork pies all morning for her husband's birthday, but now he's sick and can't get out of bed. It would be an insult to the pig if any of those good pies go to waste. She gives the character a large, freshly baked pie. It smells mouth-watering.
6. An attractive young man or woman is travelling to their home town to enter a contest of skill at the village festival. They're nervous and want to kiss a stranger for good luck (a common superstition in their area). The character is the one to catch their eye.
The beggar who receives the coin will find it sticks itself to their forehead until they perform a charitable act of their own. Abelard respected generosity, but he was easily annoyed by beggars.
- The Price of Silence
If used in payment for a crime, this coin will sink into the criminal's skin and hide inside their body. If they ever try to talk about the crime, it will leap into their throat and try to choke them. Abelard used it to pay a peasant for releasing a greased pig inside a church. Since that time it's been used in payment for murders, thefts, beatings and frauds. Abelard would feel bad about that, but probably not for long.
- The Sure Thing
If flipped, the symbol on this coin will change to whatever is spoken aloud while it's in the air. Abelard liked to settle his debts by suggesting a double-or-nothing bet on the flip of a coin. People were often reluctant to let him flip, but happy enough to let him supply the coin.
- The Sour Joke
Abelard created this coin to amuse children with the what's-that-coin-doing-behind-your-ear trick. If placed behind a child's ear while concealed from view it turns into two coins, of a value to buy a child's treat. If repeated, four coins, then eight. Unfortunately, this spell wasn't quite ready. Each time someone attempts to use it, there's a 1-in-6 chance it will actually get stuck in the child's ear, where it was cause considerable discomfort and require very careful extraction. Tears are unavoidable.
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