20 Unusual potions

Getcha potions right here! Want to be thinner? Want to be stout? Want to grow hair back? Want to cure gout? Potions potions potions! I wrestled this potion off my great-grandmother. Ninety years old and she gave me a shiner that took a week to fade. This potion is how she preserved her right hook for fifty years!

Except where otherwise stated, potion effects last for 8 -  CON bonus hours.

1. Ocular vitrification tincture

This potion causes one of the user's eyes to become glassy and pop out of its socket. The owner can still see through it, no matter how far away it is. The eye will reconnect normally as long as it's back in its socket before the potion wears off. If it's not, it reverts to flesh wherever it happens to be.

2. Glossolalia dose

Anyone who drinks this potion speaks and understands a language known only to other drinkers.

3. Osteoactive jelly essence

Softens the drinker's bones. The user can't stand, but can coil around things like a constrictor snake. Or squeeze through small openings. If the opening is narrower than the drinker's head, it compresses their brain. This causes them to experience strange sights, sounds and emotions. If the opening is significantly narrower than the drinker's head, it causes damage. Make an attack with the difference in inches as a bonus and D4 damage.

4. Orchardic promoter mix 

Pour a dose on soil and it instantly grows a random fruit tree to full height and blooms with fruit. Picking the last fruit causes the tree to wither to nothing.

5. Avian transmogrification elixir

Transforms the drinker into a bird. The bird species is random, but higher HD users tend to produce birds of prey. The same elixir transforms actual birds permanently into voles.

6. Robust integument formula

Halves bludgeoning damage. Also causes the drinker to boom like a drum when struck.

7. Essentia lunula

Causes the drinker's finger- and toe-nails to harden and flatten. Afterwards they flake off like tiny knives. They can be a vicious weapon if embedded in something.

8. Cynosural enhancement draught

Gives the drinker an absolute sense of where the compass points lie.

9. Indenomitive juice

The drinker can no longer say their own name or speak a sentence that directly refers to the self.

10. Nonpareil regurgitative tonic

The drinker vomits up a precious stone. This causes considerable intestinal distress for 10 - level minutes. Until vomiting the stone, the character is at -2 to all rolls. Once uncorked, the potion sours in minutes. Drinking it after a delay causes the same sickness, but no gem.

11. Draconasal augmentation solution

Allows the drinker to smell precious metals up to three rooms away.

12. Potion of improved visibility

The drinker becomes a light source. Halfling-size or smaller produce as much light as a torch. Larger creatures produce as much as a lantern.

13. Seismic mirth tincture

Causes the drinker to laugh with a force that shakes the ground and deafens bystanders.

14. Dreischer dose

Causes the drinker's voice and mannerisms to become increasingly annoying over time.

15. Mellification formula

Causes the drinker to sweat honey. The kind of honey depends on the kinds of plants in their diet. Triggers an encounter roll if the table has creatures attracted to honey.

16. Crimson aurochs potion

Tastes foul, but allows tired people to function without penalties. Also causes scattered feathers to sprout.

17. Caustic lachrymose tonic

Makes the drinker's eyes water. The tears will rust metal instantly. Blurs vision while in effect. Lasts HD x minutes.

18. Insulating tincture

Causes the drinker to grow a thick, warm pelt. Lasts 2 hours per dose. After that, the drinker sheds all the hair over a period of ten minutes. While in effect, drinker cannot form recognisable words.

19. Essentia fructus scientiae

Causes the drinker to temporarily grow roots and branches. Clusters of berries (up to 4d6 total) grow from the branches. Anyone eating a berry will gain one of the drinker's skills (drinker's choice) for the length of a watch. A second dose will cause the drinker to be stuck in plant form.

20. Multiplication solution

Causes the drinker to split into 5 x HD miniature copies. Each is about as smart as a bright rat. Their instinct is to scatter and rejoin at the place the drinker was thinking of when taking the potion. When they assemble, the potion wears off and they're drawn back together.

D6 wizardly wagons

Image sourced from Rawpixel.com

Six magical vehicles for busy wizards.

When I think of a wizard, I think of someone who would spend ten years of his life researching a way to magically move to a spot only half an hour away on foot.

1. Flying boat

The flying boat is a normal three-mast sailing ship. Instead of using sails, its booms and rigging are perches for thousands of folded paper birds. They keep it aloft by flapping in unison. It travels at the speed of an unladen European swallow, about 20 mph. It has no landing gear. When setting down it sits on its keel and lists to the side. Sometimes to a dangerous degree.

2. Elephant golem

This is a wooden elephant, three times life size. Its flanks have hatches that give access to a hollow interior with shelves and cargo nets. The driver sits on the elephant's head and operates its trunk as a crane to lift bales in and out of the interior.

The golem is smart enough to pick the most level route to a destination. It's also capable of defending itself with feet, trunk and iron-tipped tusks. It can run, but the jarring damages its frame and its more delicate goods.

3. Walking mansion

A large mansion with four wings and a central annex. The wings flex like legs, stepping like a spider and carrying the annex like a body. The wings are empty of furniture, but still hold their fittings. Those are twisted and smashed from the flexing of the building's 'legs'.

The mansion's steps are equally hard on the ground it passes over. With no foundation to bear its weight, its 'feet' sink into the soft earth and yank out giant clods of it when they lift.

4. Balloon tower

This three-level tower was crudely cut free from a larger structure. It's suspended below a large canvas balloon. Inside that are fire and air elementals performing a solemn dance together. 

The tower's contents (including a full-sized alchemy bench) are secured to the walls with nets. The bench is covered with pages written by the builder. He realised too late that he hadn't given any though to coming down once he was up. Some of the scribbled notes read COLLECT RAIN WATER FOR BALLAST? UNPICK STITCHING? JUMP WHILE OVER WATER?

5. Serpent wagon

 A covered wagon that glides along supported on the head of a giant snake. The sinuous movement covers land and water equally well. It makes any so-inclined passengers thoroughly motion sick.

There's a strong reptilian smell that makes cattle and horses nervous and jumpy.

6. Completely normal horse cart

...is what it looks like, but the horse has no reins. Tell it where to take you, and it does.

It doesn't talk and it certainly doesn't offer to share the layout of a nearby wizard's tower with adventurers in exchange for a cut of the loot am I clear, Dobber?