What if we kicked Cthulhu's arse? - part 1

Part 2 of this article is now up here. 

A campaign idea that starts from the point where we win the Cthulhu Mythos.

Mythos fiction is some of my favourite fiction, but you have to admit it's dark. The setting comes with the explicit knowledge that some day, probably sooner rather than later, the stars will be right and the Great Old Ones will rise. The human race will collectively go mad under Cthulhu's psychic influence and turn on each other in ecstatic slaughter.  If we survive at all, it'll be as just another lowly servitor race to Big C. And with the Mi-Go interested in Earth's resources, shoggoths hating us for not being them, Lloigor malice, Nyarlathotep's games, etc.... that's probably the best outcome we can expect. Dark.

Something I enjoy is taking nihilistic settings like this one and extrapolating what they would be like if we solved all the existing problems. And introduced a few new ones so they're still interesting to play.

Your mythos may vary. There have been so many writers involved that you have to to pick and choose. Lovecraft gets in, obviously. Also Ramsey Campbell, Frank Belknap Long and August Derleth (although I don't give any credence to his shuffling of Great Old Ones into neat elemental associations).

Cursed items

A list of six cursed items that do exactly what they seem to do.

My concept of cursed items isn't objects that stick you with a negative modifier and can't be put down - although those have their place. It's perfectly serviceable items that perform a valuable function in a way that compromises the character's values.

Admittedly that's not much of a threat to murderhobo characters. But the caveats for these items should at least make non-chaotic players pause and then avoid the GM's eye while mumbling about the end justifying the means!

1. Death Holds No Secrets

A gem-studded collar that can temporarily revive a being dead for less than INT bonus days and no more than user's level+INT bonus HD to answer three questions in full. The being can save vs Magic to resist. After the questions have been answered, the collar returns the being to its rest.

After Death Holds No Secrets has passed out of range, there is a 3-in-6 chance of the being reviving again as a hostile undead with HD up to user's level.

2. Stand-Alone

A sword with faceted obsidian inlaid in the pommel in place of a gem. It allows the user to reduce the closest ally NPC's STR bonus by 1 in order to gain the same bonus until the end of a combat. The borrowed strength does not return to the NPC.

 

(Technically, the effect should apply to PCs as well. Would you want to be in that game? I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to be the same building.)

3. The Uneasy Crown

A simple gold crown, decorated with gold wire and rubies. This item only works if placed on a second person's head by someone who knows the passphrase, 'uneasy is the head'. After that, if the crowned one gives an order anyone with a lower charisma modifier will carry it out automatically, provided it isn't dangerous to them. (Save vs device to resist.) Each time an order is given, the crown tightens slightly. It cannot be removed until the person who crowned the wearer speaks the passphrase. That person is immune to the crown's effects. After being removed it cannot be used again by the same wearer. It will immediately tighten until it's too small to place on their head.

4. The Mirror Gem

The owner of this gem can enter a magical sleep and possess whoever wears the gem. The possessed wearer will look and sound like the owner, and has no will of their own while their actions are being directed. The wearer takes 1d4 HP damage each week they wear the gem. That damage can never be recovered.

5. Man-breaker

This is a lash with a core of hardened clay in the hollow handle. Each time it's used on a person, the victim loses a point from either INT, WIS or CHA and gains one in STR or CON. Over time their skin becomes more and more clay-like until they lose their last point of mental attributes and transform fully into a clay golem, good only for manual labour.

6. Persuasion

 

A narrow chain, with spiked links. If one of the spikes is used to nick a victim, the entire cord will slither inside through the wound and coil around their bones. From that point, if they refuse to follow when ordered to the chain will constrict, causing awful pain. Persuasion leaves a body the way it enters, but causes a lot more damage in the process. Most die.

The Why of Ships

It's sometimes important to know about passing ships. In a coastal village, sails on the horizon could mean raiders, or vital supplies arriving. Sometimes your characters need passage, no questions asked. Sometimes they need an unreasonable amount of flammable oil in a hurry, for perfectly legal activities. Sometimes, heh, it's a funny story, but they're stuck without a ship of their own because they set the vessel and its crew on fire completely by accident and there's no-one left to say otherwise.

That ship on the horizon is:

1. A fishing boat 
2. A freighter carrying goods to market 
3. A smuggler 
4. A military patrol vessel 
5. A pirate 
6. A fast courier 

Its distinctive feature is:

1. An elaborate figurehead
2. Coloured sails
3. An unusual flag
4. A motto emblazoned on the hull
5. An unusual crew makeup
6. A strange passenger
   

The captain is:

1. A drunk 
2. A scoundrel 
3. A strict disciplinarian 
4. Deeply religious 
5. Deeply morose 
6. A lunatic 

Their misfortune is:

1. Damaged 
2. Low supplies 
3. Disease on board 
4. Blown off course 
5. Short-handed after a failed mutiny 
6. Short-handed after a successful mutiny 

The closest ports are:

1. Allies 
2. Enemies 
3. Neutral 
4. Closed to them 
5. Open but may confiscate their goods 
6. Under the influence of a rival

They know:

1. The location of a nearby island with timber, game and fresh water
2. Passwords to make military ships ignore them
3. The location of a cache of supplies, guns and money
4. A colonial governor's humiliating secret
5. A safe route through an archipelago dotted with dangerous reefs
6. Market prices across all ports within a week's travel

Starting situation generator

Tables for instantly generating the bones of a simple adventure. 

Sometimes you want to start with the action and figure out the why of things later. Especially if it's a pick-up game with little or no prep time, you want to play now, plan later. 

With the tables below, you can throw down a set of polyhedral dice and instantly have enough background info to start in media res.

The party is (D4):

1. fighting with
2. negotiating with
3. hiding from
4. chasing

a group of (D6):

1. guards
2. mercenaries
3. zealots
   
4. intelligent monsters
5. unintelligent monsters
   
6. beasts

in a (D8):

1. city street
   
2. dungeon 
3. wilderness
4. crypt
5. temple
6. mansion
7. ship
8. tower
   

because (D10):

1. something has been stolen
2. someone has been taken
3. an offence must be punished
4. a plague must be cured
5. a curse must be broken
6. a bounty is on offer
7. a sentence must be commuted
8. a prophecy has been spoken
9. an oath has been sworn
10. a debt is owed
    

 and if they fail (D12):

1. a debt will default.
2. they will be cursed.
3. they will be outlawed.
4. a bounty will be placed on them.
   
5. an ally/family member will be harmed.
   
6. an allied faction will be weakened.
7. a crime will go unpunished.
8. a regime will fall.
9. a war will begin.
10. their home will be destroyed.
11. an opportunity will be lost.
12. an enemy will be empowered.

The theme for this adventure is (D20):

1. betrayal.
2. the generosity of honourable enemies.
3. competition with another party of adventurers.
4. a generation-spanning grudge.
5. insidious, creeping evil.
6. a race against time.
7. conspirators in every shadow.
8. revenge.
9. defending the weak.
10. reclaiming a heritage.
11. exploration.
12. impending disaster.
13. righteous vs despotic monarchs.
14. revealing treachery.
15. the gods are angry.
16. babysitting.
17. keeping up an act.
18. acting with stealth.
19. allies in unlikely places.
20. forbidden knowledge.

 

(Thanks to Spwack of the Slight Adjustments blog for the generator code.)

D6 delving-adjacent complications

A D6 table of ways an adventuring party can be victims of their own success.

You delved the dungeon. You lived. Now you're on your way back to town with the loot. Neat. Clean. Simple. Except... when has an adventurer's life ever been that easy?

1. Muggers
   Think you were discreet? A party of battle-hardened adventurers rode into town and bought up food, torches, oil, and pack animals. They hired on a group of helpers who look like they can run fast, for 'sundry duties to be clarified as and when needed'. Smells like someone's planning to make some quick money.
   
   Of course, since they are battle-hardened, it makes sense to let them go about their business and stake out the road they take out of town. When they return, exhausted and bleeding, a gang of bandits strikes.
   
   
2. Claim-jumpers
   Everyone knows the corridors of the tomb complex up on the hill are littered with gold coins... and guarded by vicious undead. It's gruel and cheap beer again this week, but that's better than being something else's meal.
   
   But if someone else takes the risk and staggers away for a long rest before returning to finish the lower levels, a clever and careful person sends for the closest neighbours and lets them know there's an opportunity. They grab packs and hurry up the hill to step over the smoking skeletons and ransack the cleared levels.
   
   
3. Price gougers
   As soon as you were spotted returning on the road, the richest merchant in town bought up everything you could possibly need. Of course he's willing to sell it to you... at ten times the original price. He has a squad of mercenaries protecting his stores. You could try taking them, but it wouldn't be easy and then you'd be law breakers.
   
   
4. Lawsuits
   It turns out the family that originally built that tomb on the hill still has scions in the kingdom. Diminished, impoverished, but still inheritors of the family name and crypt. They never had the guts to step inside or the money to pay for someone to clear it out, but fate just handed them an opportunity. You robbed their ancestors and now they're practically salivating at the chance to sue you for the return of that loot.
   
   
5. Terrain
   Paintings, statues, antiques, golden idols. They're as good as money, but only if you can get them home. Can you carry them out of the forest? Will the cart's axle support the weight? Is the road passable to a fully laden cart, or will you bog down in every wheel rut? What if the weather changes and the road turns to mud? What if you have to go cross-country to avoid bandits?
   
   
6. Suspicion
   You chose a platinum crown studded with gemstones as part of your share. Now it's gone and the wizard's pack looks a little heavier. Did you face all this danger to let one of your own companions rob you when you let your guard down?
   

B/X class: Goblin

A B/X class for playing goblins as tinkers and trap-setters.

When I wrote up monster entries for some goblin variants I came to the conclusion that it would be a lot of fun to play one in a semi-serious game. Browsing for other people's take on the subject, I found interesting posts on The Treasure Hunter's HQ and Against The Wicked City. Treasure Hunter clearly feels that goblins and thieves overlap, while Wicked's goblin is a vile, mad little scrapper who'll bite you in the unmentionables. I love them both.

I also love Terry Pratchett's vision of goblins as grubby but mechanically-talented scroungers. And I'm unfairly prejudiced against gnomes (twee little shitcakes), so I want to steal that niche for goblins. My vision of the goblin shares elements from all three of those sources. I can imagine one of them leaning out of a steam train cab window, yelling "Show us yer tits!" and laughing evilly around a dog-end cigarette.

My goblin class is a mix of what I found at the two links above and a couple of ideas out of my own brain:

Goblin
Requirements: Minimum Dex 9
Prime requisite: DEX
Hit dice: 1d4
Maximum level: 12
Allowed armour: Leather, hide or filthy rags
Allowed weapons: Small or normal-sized
Languages: Alignment language, common, goblin, orc
Saves and level as per thief

Goblins are horrible green- or grey-skinned humanoids with pointed ears and noses. They average a height of three feet and live wherever tolerated. They live in bands, but solitary goblins will sometimes strike out on their own. They have a reputation as erratic, thieving public nuisances and vandals who love drink and petty crime.

Abilities

Darkvision to 60'.

Tinker: Use the cleric's turn undead table for this, where the GM's assessment of difficulty replaces the monster hit dice number.

• Disarm trap
• Success: trap only triggers on 1-in-6. Each character/NPC passing must roll.
• T: trap is inert, but goblin can instantly reactivate it.
• D: as T, or goblin can disassemble trap to gain 1d3 scrap.
  
  
• Set trap (requires 3 scrap)
  
•  Success: trap will affect one creature.
• T: trap has an area of effect.
• D: as T, or goblin can refine the mechanism to regain 1d3 scrap.
  
  
• Repair weapon/armour
•  Success: item is usable, but functions like a similar item one step lower (eg. d6 weapon does d4 damage, plate protects like chain, etc).
• T: item regains full function.
• D: as T, but the goblin adds spikes to it. Item is +1. Spikes have a 1-in-6 chance of falling off each time the item is used. (Requires 1 scrap.)
  
  
• Build weapon/armour (requires 3 scrap)
• Success: goblin builds a d4 weapon or a shield. It falls apart at the end of the next fight and becomes scrap again.
• T: item functions normally.
• D: as T, but with spikes on. Item is +1. Spikes fall off on 1-in-6.
  

 

Headstab: Similar to a thief's backstab ability. By dropping onto an opponent from above and hanging on, a goblin can make a number of attacks equal to its DEX bonus. Opponent may make a STR vs STR roll to dislodge the goblin on their round, otherwise another headstab attack can be made.

Eat anything: A goblin can live on almost anything that isn't fighting it right now. Allows forage rolls in dungeons and cities. If other party members attempt to eat what it finds, make a save vs poison. On success they gain the benefits of a ration. On failure they take -2 for the next turn as they vomit uncontrollably.

Snivel: By slumping and letting their noses drip pathetically, a goblin can appear to be harmless. Opponents will prefer other targets unless the goblin attacks them.

Mock: A goblin's taunting crosses the language barrier. It can say something or make a gesture to offend any intelligent opponent. GM determines how NPCs react.

The OSR is...

Ask ten people what the OSR is and you're likely to get 10 + 1d6 opinions for your trouble. So why ask? You can get those opinions and many more by rolling on the table below!

The OSR is made up of...
1. Old-school grognards
2. Wild-eyed rules hackers
3. Posing art-wonks
4. Fun-hating pedants
5. Mouldering grey-beards
6. Chattering children

playing...
1. Gary Gygax's Chainmail rules
2. un-houseruled OD&D
3. a heartbreaker ruleset from a particular weekend in 1970, preserved like a fly in amber
4. something new-school with an art style somewhere between psychedelic and heiroglyphic
5. an original ruleset that everyone agrees 'just feels' OSR (by which they mean their characters get killed a lot)
6. a Frankenstein's monster of rules that don't fit with each other, pulled from half a dozen of their favourite OSR titles

with...
1. Jeff Rients, passed out in a beanbag surrounded by copies of his carousing rules, occasionally mumbling "level fiddy, mudderfuckers"
2. SWORD DREAM tinkerers who want to replace all their stats with usage dice
3. six pear-shaped guys with real metal swords they forged from beer cans HEY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE SWINGING THAT
4. a couple who brought their teenagers because they can't be trusted at home alone
5. Dave Arneson's actual corpse
6. eight college students who still think this is 5E

and are 'led' by...

1. an elite group who've played in con games GMed by Gary G and have photographic evidence

2. a cabal of self-publishers who cracked the code for selling platinum on DrivethruRPG

3. a demented group who argue that Cops 'n' Robbers is the original RPG, but only if you didn't let girls play

4. scruffy basement-dwelling contrarians who just want to be in opposition to everyone

5. purists who don't play any game available in PDF or POD

6. nostalga-junkies who remember the 70s as a better time

but actually led by...

1. Rosicrucians

2. Freemasons

3. the Kickstarter board of directors

4. a rogue CIA cell locked in proxy combat with a rogue KGB cell since 1990

5. a millennial cult sifting the errors from millions of furiously typed forum comments for prophecy

6. Arnold K from a hidden base in the caldera of an active volcano commanding an army of crowdfunded drones armed with scalpels

with the goal of...

1. destroying storygames forever.

2. inoculating the next generation against social media-triggered political madness.
3. making a quick buck the hardest way.

4. assembling a critical mass of brain matter conditioned to simulate fantasy worlds. The harvest begins next year.

5. winning a bet.

6. sorry, only the even secret-er cabal knows that.

 

 

(Thanks to Spwack of the Slight Adjustments blog for the generator code.)

The Magic Items of Ha'Dwair

I'm pretty sure everyone who plays a fantasy RPG (and especially D&D-ish RPGs) comes to the realisation that to a medieval peasant a laser gun is a magic wand, a robot is a man in armour and a spaceship is a godly chariot. Of course, that would also apply to modern objects, not just futuristic ones.

The wizard of Ha'Dwair sells his wares from a hut of sparkling glass, filled with moving images and brightly-painted runes of obscure meaning. They're reliable, if heavy, and he makes sure to show customers how to use them safely and check for remaining charges and mana. He often seems confused about what adventurers are actually doing with them, but it's worth ignoring his eccentricities to deal with a wizard who is helpful, reliable and doesn't smell like weasels live in his clothes.

Wands

When a wand runs out of mana or charges, the wizard will re-empower it for a modest fee.

Maa-ki-tah's Wand of Iron Spikes

This wand produces iron spikes from nowhere. If held against a door frame, it can spike it open or shut instantly. It makes a noise like a dragon coughing, but quieter than a hammer. Triggers an encounter check.

If used in battle Maa-ki-tah's wand is only useful against opponents in plate, or carrying a shield, or encased in tough hide. It ignores AC and does 1d6 damage.

DeWalt's Disc-Axe *

At the end of this wand is a spinning disc with intricately-carved teeth along the edge. It's devastating in battle, but its main use is quickly making entrances and exits by cutting through wooden doors, walls, floors and ceilings. If used on metal, the disc is blunted until the user painstakingly files the teeth back to sharpness. Louder than an axe. Triggers an encounter check.

Rio Bi's Self-propelling Drill

Unlike an iron-worker's self-propelling drill, this wand doesn't need to be hand-cranked. The user simply places it against the surface to be holed and presses a stud, allowing for accuracy and speed. A perfect thief's tool, it can disable locks and create spy holes. The bit can be exchanged for one of a different size with nothing more than the twist of a key. It can be kept quiet if used gently, but makes stealth impossible.

Bosh's Excellent Portable Forge

The forge is made up a of a hand-pulled two-wheeled cart, a large metal flask and the hellfire wand. The cart is light but strong and can hold the weight of several people. The flask is cold to the touch but contains alchemist's fire. If dropped from a great height, it will rupture in an explosion like a dragon attack. The hellfire wand produces a hot, bright flame that melts through copper and tin in seconds and iron in minutes. The flame should not be looked at directly, hellfire is not kind to mortal eyes. A skilled smith can use it to repair damaged weapons and armour while delving.

Armour

The wizard of Ha'Dwair's armour isn't quite on the same level as his wands. In fact, a lot of it is near-useless. What good is armour that makes you more likely to be seen? Still, he often gives it away for nothing with a wand and it's not smart to refuse a wizard's gift.

The Rigid Helm

Someone wearing the Rigid Helm can withstand mighty blows to the top of their head. It offers much less protection against lateral attacks. Rub some mud on it, it's bright orange.

The Invisible Eye-Ward

Not actually invisible, but you can see through this light-but-tough protector like it was glass. Perfect for looking through keyholes that might contain poison needle traps.

Note: Not arrow-proof.

The Vest of Revealing

This vest offers no armour bonus at all, and it's a vivid yellow and orange so bright they seem to glow. Maybe you could slit it down the sides and drape it over the best-armoured member of the party to make them the focus of incoming attacks? There's no obvious benefit to it, but the wizard insists that everyone take one.

Gloves of Improved Grip

Thin gloves that protect like thick leather gloves, offering all the convenience of ‒ look, just take them. They're free. Take them.

Boots of Hardness

Ah, now these are something special! Boots that never slip on any solid surface and have iron caps stitched into the leather. Good for fighting kobolds, goblins and other scum that love to stab an honest fighting man in the foot.

* With thanks to William Hope Hodgson

The Tooth Merchant

A wandering merchant who sells, buys, fits and polishes teeth of unusual provenance. This is an idea I originally proposed for a zine. It wasn't used, so now I can flesh it out for myself.

The merchant is an always-smiling man of indeterminate race.  He could be human, but his mouth is much too wide and contains far too many teeth. One of them plays music. 

He's most likely to be found at fae bazaars and goblin markets, but occasionally makes his way to regular markets that aren't policed too zealously. Not that he's dishonest, oh no. He just doesn't like getting too much... official attention. He will attempt to charmingly deflect questions about his background and where these teeth come from.

AC 9 [10], HD 6 (21hp), Att 2 × staff (1d4) or teeth (see specials), THAC0 17, MV 60’ (20’), SV D10 W11 P12 B13 S14 (F6), ML 9, AL Neutral, XP 1400, NA 1 (1), TT T

Specials:
The tooth merchant always has smiling teeth, lying teeth, eloquent teeth, snake teeth and shark teeth fitted in his own mouth.

The table below is the catalogue of teeth he generally carries on him. (Special orders by arrangement.) If purchased, they can be painlessly and efficiently fitted in the back of the tent and there's only a 2-in-6 chance that you buy one thing and he fits another (roll 1d20 to see what).

1. Smiling teeth
How can you have a bad day when you're smiling all the time? Gives the wearer an extra save vs mood-altering effects, including fear but not Charm spells.

2. Snarling teeth
These teeth utter convincing threats. +1 CHA to attempts at intimidating.

3. Lying teeth
+1 CHA while telling a lie. However, if anyone asks a question you weren't prepared for, save vs devices to tell the truth. On failure, you're compelled to lie.

4. Honest teeth
You eat lies. If you know someone is lying, make a chewing motion and roll CHA vs CHA. On a win the lie is no longer convincing and you gain the benefit of a ration.

5. Eloquent teeth
+1 CHA when speaking about a learned subject such as art, history, religion, politics, etc.

6. Whistling teeth
You can whistle as musically as playing an instrument, or loud enough to be heard miles away.

7. Lucky teeth
Each time you eat, roll 1d20. On 1 - 14 it's a normal meal. On 15 - 17 it contains a low-denomination coin. On 18 - 19, a high-denomination coin. On 20 a gem.

8. Rat teeth
You can gnaw through cloth, leather, rope and (given time) wood.

9. Snake teeth
Level times per day, on a successful attack you can choose to bite instead of using a weapon. Biting does 1d4 damage and inflicts the poisoned condition. Save vs death to resist.

10. Wolf teeth
On a successful attack, you can choose to bite instead of using a weapon. Biting automatically does 1d6 damage per round until the target makes a successful STR vs STR roll to break free or until you release them. During that time, neither of you can take other actions.

11. Shark teeth
On a successful attack, you can choose to bite instead of using a weapon, doing 1d6 damage. A shark-bitten opponent can no longer use their main weapon and gains the bleeding condition until bandaged.

12. Sabre-teeth
Make you look like a total bad-ass. Once per combat you can roar. Anyone on the battlefield who didn't know you can do that is surprised and drops to the bottom of the initiative order until the fight is over.

13. Goat teeth
Eat a fist-sized amount of anything organic to gain the benefit of a ration. Horrify your teammates.

14. Warthog tusks
Gain a 1d8 gore attack that can be used against opponents in an adjacent square. And a speech impediment.

15. Troll teeth
Regenerate any (non-fire) damage to your teeth or mouth overnight. Curses you with swamp breath.

16. Giant teeth
More like a full set of teeth carved from one giant tooth. Gives you the ability to bellow like a giant. Be heard, anywhere.

17. Vampire teeth
Who needs rations when you have enemies? Bite a restrained or helpless victim on the neck. If you can stay latched on for 1d4 rounds, do 1d4 hp damage and gain the benefit of a ration. Works on anything that has human-digestible blood.

18. Werewolf teeth
As per wolf teeth. Werewolf teeth look like normal human teeth until your bloodlust is aroused, or under the light of a full moon. While your teeth are active, you gain no benefit from eating normal rations. The only rations that work for you are the flesh of an intelligent creature.

19. Salamander teeth
Gain the benefit of a ration by eating the campfire flames. Eating the fire puts it out and the remaining fuel cannot be re-lit. Larger fires will give you indigestion from over-eating, but won't go out.

20. Dragon teeth
Taste the air to see if there are uncovered riches nearby. Lick treasure to see if it's genuine. The downside is that all food tastes like ashes and dirt unless served up on a plate of precious metal.

Campaign idea: Hobo Wizards

Hobos as mystical defenders of the nation. An idea I've had swimming around in my brain since reading Tim Powers' Earthquake Weather and Charlie Elmer Fox's autobiography in the same week.  

Reefer Charlie clearly had his rose-coloured glasses on while dictating the memoir: in his mind hobos were knights of the road, upright and chaste. They always gave a day's work for a day's pay and supported each other in tough times. Sister of the Road (Boxcar Bertha's autobio) is much grimier with its free love, prostitution and Bertha's regrets about being too drunk to join an anarchist bombing campaign. What I take from Powers is the idea that America has a secret king and the health of the land is directly tied to the king's health. All three of these books are good reads and I recommend them.

For the campaign, the Dust Bowl was the Apocalypse and all of Earth has been dragged into Hell. With the exception of the US, which is defended by the hobomages' Great Work. Now they form a court of councillors and bodyguards that travel with the King of America as he treads the boundaries of his nation (by riding the rails) and keeps the magic wards strong.

The king doesn't know he's king. The mages got him good and drunk for the coronation, he doesn't remember a thing. He just knows that his luck tends to go bad if he stays anywhere too long, and there's always a well-paying seasonal job available in a city just a little further down the coast. The Great Work prevents him or any mundane citizen from realising what's happened outside the country's borders.

The hobomages are wise and powerful, but for the most part they work for food and lodging like any other hobo. They need to stay hidden. The devil can enter the US if he limits himself to human form and power, and he's always sniffing for the source of the protective magic. If he gets a hint of a mage's identity he sends for his Yeggs, human agents picked from among the most degraded hobos. They don't care who they're working for and violence is their trademark. 

 

If a hobomage wants to work magic, it has to be subtle, using sympathetic effects like the laws of similarity and contagion. The idea being that yeah: the players can reveal themselves as the titans of magic they truly are, but then they have to fight off an army. If the king gets killed the country could literally go to Hell before a replacement can be crowned. Hobomages themselves can't be permanently killed because they've hidden their lives away with the greater part of their magic, but when they revive, they revive wherever that is and not where they need to be.

I'm not sure what I'd use to run this. Probably a system that has some kind of stress mechanism for tracking the heat players bring down on themselves through ill-advised magic use.

Edit: It seems there's an existing RPG called Hobomancer, using the QAGS system. And it won an Ennies Silver, so I should have been aware of it sooner. I've read the quickstart and it's clear the writers and I are dipping into the same well. We both have the idea of riding the rails as a mystical symbolic journey. We even found the same (admittedly famous) public domain photo of hobos walking the rails. I don't think I'd run my game in Hobomancer, because it appears to be higher-powered than what I'm thinking of. Less serious, too. One of the classes is the 'stinkomancer' which cultivates body odour as a weapon. 😃

Killer robots

Have you ever woken from a sound sleep with the best idea ever and forgotten what it was before morning? Today I had the opposite experience: an idea so terrible that my subconscious refused to take responsibility for it and kicked me awake. By morning it was still there, burning like an ember in my thoughts - goblin phone sex operators.

 I have no plans to develop this idea, and no idea how to develop it if I wanted to.

Anyhoo, robots. The first few OD&D games played must have been real kitchen sink settings. I was interested to read that Gary G's Greyhawk had dinosaurs and androids as monsters the players could encounter. It’s a shame there aren't more robots in fantasy game supplements today. Here's some I've statted up, hoping to capture what would have been the 1970s aesthetic:

Roberzerker
A towering armoured beast with a single glowing eye, flailing claw-arms and a grating electronic voice shouting "DESTROY! DESTROY!" Usually set to guard an area or significant artefact. Won't leave the room its guard point is in unless it malfunctions (2 in 6 if damaged).

AC 6 [13], HD 5 (22hp), Att 2 x slam (1d6) or 1 x sonic (1d8, see specials), THAC0 17, MV 90' (30'), SV D10 W11 P12 B3 S14 (F5), ML 12, AL Neutral, XP 550, NA 1d3, TT D

Specials:
Sonic - The robot can make a straight-line attack affecting all opponents in targeted squares. Ignores armour, 3-round recharge.
Boom - a destroyed roberzerker explodes on 2 in 6, doing 1d8 damage to opponents in adjacent squares.
Mechanical - immune to all mind-affecting spells and conditions.

Spider
A dog-sized machine that lurks in the dark in high corners. Has 8 dim red lights as eyes. Will attempt to surprise or swarm opponents.

AC 8 [11], HD 2 (5hp), Att 1 x shock bite (1d6), THAC0 19, MV 120' (40'), SV D13 W14 P13 B16 S15 (T2), ML 12, AL Neutral, XP 35, NA 2d4, TT C

Specials:
Climb - a spider can crawl along walls or ceilings at its normal movement rate.
Backstab - as per Thief.
Mechanical - immune to all mind-affecting spells and conditions.

Scrapper
A man-sized construction which collects all kinds of metal for depositing in the hopper on its back, where it's crushed into ingots for storage. Not inherently hostile, but it wants the party's weapons and armour and will attempt to yank them off.

AC 8 [11], HD 3 (8hp), Att 1 x steal (see specials), THAC0 19, MV 120; (40'), SV D13 W14 P13 B16 S15 (T3), ML 9, AL Neutral, XP 65, NA 1d4, TT B

Specials:
Steal - on a successful attack, the scrapper will cut one item of the target's armour free, reducing AC by 2 points.
Mechanical - immune to all mind-affecting spells and conditions.

Hound
A security robot in the form of a lion-sized dog. Usually found walking patrols in an ancient facility, they attack without warning and fight to kill. 

AC 6 [13], HD 5 (22hp), Att 1 × bite (2d6), THAC0 17, MV 150’ (50’), SV D10 W11 P12 B13 S14 (F5), ML 12, AL Neutral, XP 425, NA 1d2 (2d4), TT D

Specials:
Backup - A hound signals for reinforcements when entering combat with the characters. 2d4 more hounds arrive in 1d6 turns.
Mechanical - immune to all mind-affecting spells and conditions.

Lifter
A huge robot on thick legs or tracks, designed for moving loads around. It may be hostile, or simply oblivious to the tiny characters.

AC 3 [16], HD 15 (67hp), Att 1 × crush  (4d8), THAC0 10, MV 80’ (26’), SV D8 W9 P10 B10 S12 (F8), ML 12, AL Neutral, XP 3,250, NA 1 (1d3), TT G

Specials:
Horn - operates every second turn, characters are deaf and unable to communicate via speech while it sounds.
Mechanical - immune to all mind-affecting spells and conditions.

Docbot
The one helpful robot on this list. Docbots are willing and able to perform medical treatment on human and demihuman characters. 3 in 6 chance it's run out of anaesthetic and attempts to inject a patient with a dried-up syringe before performing surgery. Doesn't speak the patient's language.

AC 3 [16], HD 1 (4hp), Att -, THAC0 -, MV 120’ (40’), SV D13 W14 P13 B16 S15 (T1), ML 12, AL Neutral, XP -, NA 1, TT B

Specials:
Heal - can use one full turn to heal a character by 1d6+1 hp. Can only treat the same character once every six hours.
Space age medicine - can treat conditions that would ordinarily require magical healing.
Mechanical - immune to all mind-affecting spells and conditions.

Note on treasure tables - robots don't carry cash, items or spells. In each case the treasure table given represents the value of the advanced metal scraps you can pick from a robot's wreckage. For each line on the table that indicates a non-money reward, roll again on the highest value money reward line.

Horrible House playtest

I've written a procedural OSR-style adventure in the vein of Emmy Allen's Stygian Library. Having just come off a Shadowrun campaign, my Tuesday night gaming group are letting me run a playtest game. We're playing via Roll20 at the moment, our rooms at the local university having been shut down as a coronavirus measure.

The idea is that the characters enter a generally normal-seeming Victorian mansion with a chained angel at its heart and things get stranger and more threatening as they move further inside. I copied Emmy's depth mechanic almost unchanged.

This is all being done using Ben Milton's Knave as the system, with a few houserules. The characters are starting the adventure at level 3 because I'm not sure the players are ready to embrace the cheapness of life in OSR games just yet.

The characters are:

Maximus (Max) Johnson, played by James K. A student, mostly of ways to make other people's property into his property. Has been exiled in the past.

Adelaide, played by Tim. A gambler, who has been disowned.

Iris MacLeod, played by Theo. A herbalist who is suspected of crimes.

Castor, played by Mila. A poverty-stricken magician who carries around a hen named Eggrietta.

Karros Shepherd, played by James C. A tracker who has been replaced in his job.

The party started on the front porch. They needed to enter the house to find out what happened to the delegation of clergy they were supposed to accompany as a cover. They also had instructions to retrieve the magic tome Ivan Vantig (the owner) used to snare an angel.

There was no-one visible from the porch, just a swing seat creaking in the morning breeze. Adelaide and Iris approached, and the seat cast Charm. Adelaide successfully resisted but Iris sat down and the swing seat launched her into the air, inflicting 1d6 damage. She picked herself up and the party entered.

At depth 1 they found themselves not in a foyer or entrance hall, but in a portrait gallery. Max tried taking one of the several brass candelabra lighting the paintings, but it squirmed out of his grip. It backed away from the party, but stayed close, helpfully attempting to illuminate whatever they looked at. They were distracted from examining the paintings by their shadows, who were doing their own thing rather than mimicking the characters' actions. The shadows were miming their normal morning routines, so the characters wrote it off as odd but harmless. They proceeded into the next room.

Depth 2 found them in the house's private theatre, which the Vantig children had clearly been using as a playroom. There was a small pile of toys on the stage. Looking through them, Iris and Adelaide found a pair of earrings and a necklace. They might be costume jewellery, but they have the weight of the real thing, so they split the pieces between them and wore them to save inventory space. They also found a sheet of paper which had symbols scribbled on either side. The characters recognised one as a name in angelic script: Nelphael. The other is the demonic glyph AGA, meaning confinement.

(I made a mistake here. I made the players roll to recognise the symbols when I should have just given Castor the magician's player the information.)

There were a couple of (non-creepy) dolls in the pile, one with a button eye hanging loose from a thread. Castor repaired it as a gesture of good will in case the dolls came to life and tried to stab them in their sleep later. That took long enough for a random encounter roll and they found themselves attacked by three Wig Beasts. Springing from among the costume equipment, I gave the beasts surprise. It took two full rounds to put them down, during which Iris took more damage. (I took the Wig Beast damage die down to 1d4 when I realised these creatures which I intended to be just an annoyance were a genuine threat.)

Iris and Adelaide (who were co-incidentally the front line for the battle) both lost big tufts of hair to the beasts' attempts to sink tap roots into their scalps. Iris was hurt badly enough to take 10 minutes to prepare a dose of her healing herbs. There was no encounter during that turn. The candelabrum, which had followed them from a previous room, accidentally set the stage curtains on fire. They managed to pull it down and stamp it out before it spread.

It was a game with a lot of prep, so that was as far as we got. Tonight's session continues from there.

The why of villages

According to British crime dramas, you're 900% more likely to be murdered in a sleepy little countryside village than anywhere else in England. But when you've been on the road for weeks and supplies are running low, they can be a godsend.

So what makes this village tick? What do they do all day, what's their background, what are they secretly ashamed or proud of? Will they sell you supplies and wish you a safe journey, or will someone knife you in your sleep as a potential threat to her victory in this year's rhubarb pie baking contest?

The main source of income is:

1. Farming
2. Fishing
3. Mining
4. Hospitality for travellers on a nearby trade road
5. Craft - smithing, cooping, wagon-building, etc.
6. Forestry

An important nearby resource is:

1. A forest where game can be hunted
2. A bridge or ford
3. A marsh where bog-iron can be collected
4. A clay pit
5. A bat cave where guano can be harvested
6. A medicinal/culinary herb that grows wild

They offer adventurers (roll 3 times):

1. A blacksmith
2. Horses for sale
3. Dried food, lamp oil, rope, arrows
4. Healing
5. Cleric services
6. Guides

They are led by:

1. A minor noble family
2. A council of business leaders
3. An elected mayor
4. A clan chief
5. A governor assigned by the kingdom
6. An informal group of village elders

Who is/are 'advised' by:

1. A wealthy family stripped of a noble title generations ago
2. A secret council of 'concerned' citizens
3. A bandit clan with a nearby secret camp
4. A coven of witches
5. A whispering presence
6. A spy for the ruler

The citizens are:

1. A single race
2. Two or more races living together
3. Several races and immigrants
4. Mixed and include a small population of highly unusual creatures 
5. Mixed and include many exotic creatures
6. Mostly exotic creatures

An unusual feature is:

1. A ghost in the ruler's chambers
2. A fairy market every full moon
3. A law against killing cats
4. An inn built into an old ruin
5. A barred and shuttered building no-one is permitted to enter
6. An unusual town official - witch finder, sword examiner, nose-measurer, plague doctor, etc.

A nearby threat is:

1. The beast in the woods
2. The goblin camp
3. A border war
4. An ancient curse
5. A growing cult
6. A feud between two influential families

They don't talk about:

1. The leper colony their grandparents' generation burned down
2. The smuggling tunnels under the oldest houses and what they're used for today
3. The deal they made with an evil sorcerer during a hard winter
4. The massacre that happened decades ago
5. The unusual religion they practise
6. The reason for the sunset curfew

(Thanks to Spwack of the Slight Adjustments blog for the generator code.)

Court of Apes

A bestiary of apes for a dungeon adventure because sometimes the solution is more monkeys.

Macaque Minister

Ever-mindful of their dignity, Macaques are the orators and speech makers of the court. They argue their positions with punctilious decorum, no matter how ridiculous they are.

"I admire the passion with which the honoured member advocates for socks to be worn inside-out, but has he considered the impact on the yarn-makers and dyers?"

AC 9 [11], HD 2 (5hp), Att 1 × rapier (1d6), THAC0 18 [+1], MV 120’ (40’), SV D13 W14 P13 B16 S15 (MU2), ML 7, AL Neutral, XP 60, NA 2d4 (1d6+2), TT B

Specials: 

Sleep - Once per day a Macaque Minister may cast Sleep on any number of creatures who can hear it. Requires a common language and an uninterrupted round of waffling speech. Save vs paralysis resists.

Climb - Can Climb as per a Thief of 3 levels higher.

Ambi-ambidextrous - Can wield a weapon as long as any limb is free.

Prehensile tail - Tail can be used to grip. Can hold the Macaque's and extra weight up to that of a Halfling.

 

Colobus Counsellor

Always ready to offer stupid advice, whether asked for it or not.

"M'lord, I can assure you we will save hours of the servants' time cleaning by simply diverting a river through the castle on alternate Wednesdays."

AC 7 [12], HD 2 (7hp), Att 1 × staff (1d4), THAC0 18 [+1], MV 120’ (40’), SV D11 W12 P14 B16 S15 (C2), ML 7, AL Neutral, XP 25, NA 1d4+2 (2d4), TT N

Specials:
Cure light wounds - Once per day a Colobus can examine a patient and pronounce a diagnosis "You're pregnant/You're dead/You have bees." and provide a tonic in the form of 'medicinal' brandy that restores 1d6+1 HP.
Escape - If attacked, a Colobus may disappear into its own baggy robes and emerge fleeing in an unexpected direction.

Gorilla Philosopher

Gorillas who spend their time debating schools of thought. They slam their fists on the ground, beat their chests, snort and shake their heads, but there's no actual violence.

"The sock question is fascinating and deserves careful consideration. Nevertheless, we are apes and apes have no feet."

AC 6 [13], HD 4 (18hp), Att 2 × slam (1d4) or 1 x logic (1d6 + paralysis, see specials), THAC0 16 [+3], MV 120’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F2), ML 7, AL Neutral, XP 80, NA 1d4+1 (2d4), TT O

Specials:
Logic - a Gorilla Philosopher may attempt to disprove an opponent's existence. Requires a common language. Attack uses target's Int modifier as a bonus. Success does 1d6 psychic damage and target must save vs paralysis or lose a turn while they doubt their own reality.
Snarl - Once per combat a Gorilla may vent a growl of animal fury and automatically gain initiative for its side in the following turn.

Gibbon Scribe

Gibbons bumble about looking for things to record. Any things.

"Hang about, hang about - what was that part about winding my entrails around the flagpole? And do you mind if I write 'guts'? It's easier to spell."

AC 9 [10], HD 1 (4hp), Att 1 × sharpened quill (1d4), THAC0 19 [+0], MV 120’ (40’), SV D11 W12 P14 B15 S16 (C1), ML 7, AL Neutral, XP 10, NA 1d6+2 (2d6), TT S

Chimp Guard

Slouching chimpanzees with chainmail and dented helmets, using spears to prop themselves up. They watch proceedings with a sleepy disinterest until it's time to leap screaming into battle.

"You saying I'm corrupt? 'Cos that's insulting and when I feel insulted it costs twice the usual fee to walk through this door."

AC 7 [12], HD 3 (14hp), Att 1 × sword (1d6) or spear (1d6), THAC0 16 [+3], MV 120’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F2), ML 7, AL Neutral, XP 35, NA 2d4 (1d6+2), TT K

Bonobo Page

Chimp-like apes in livery, carrying trumpets and scrolls. They announce visitors and shout the events of the court as they happen.

"Hear ye! Sir Reginald Montague Fineteeth throttles Lord Eustace Curlwhiskers with his tail! Lord Eustace responds via an attempted eye gouge with a fish fork! Lady Marjorie Goldenfur absconds with the last of the pastries!"

AC 6 [13], HD 2 (7hp), Att 1 × trumpet (1d4), THAC0 17 [+2], MV 120’ (40’), SV D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (F2), ML 7, AL Neutral, XP 20, NA 1d6 (2d4), TT P

Good King Paul

A 7-year old human boy with a cloth tail stitched to his shorts and glued-on monkey whiskers. He shouts nonsensical commands and the apes hurry to carry them out while applauding his wisdom.

"I declare today cheese day! Everyone eat cheese!" "Urgh, cheese is yuck now. It makes me feel funny. Anyone with cheese shall be put to death!" "By royal decree, everyone walk backwards!"

AC 9 [11], HD 1/2 (2hp), Att 1 x kick (1d2-1) or 1 x bite (1d2-1), THAC0 16 [+3], MV 120’ (40’), SV D14 W15 P16 B17 S18 (NH), ML 6, AL Neutral, XP 5, NA 0 (1), TT I

Drunk fighting

Rules for fighting while drunk, to resist supernatural mental influences or just because that dwarf at the inn was looking at you funny.

Once upon a time my players were facing a demon that had the power to hypnotise people into a dream state and control them while they were in the trance. One of the characters had already come very close to death that way before they realised what they were up against. They had to physically restrain her from climbing into a hospital furnace while dreaming that she was dead. Their most useful resource on demonology was a semi-reliable book of centuries-old witchcraft. They asked me how the witch hunters of olden times resisted demon illusion powers and I tossed off a line about going into battle roaring drunk.

It was meant to be a throwaway that clearly wasn't practical in modern times, but they grabbed onto the idea and ran with it, so I improvised a system for drunk fighting. The battle that followed was awesome. Here's a refined version of the system I used that day.

Resisting

At the start of each round players decide how many points to sacrifice from their attribute bonuses to a pool to resist Charm-like spells and Charisma-based attacks. Points put into the pool cannot be recovered until the character sobers up. Each point spent from the pool gains +2 to saving throws against influence. Bonuses may stack.

Points can be taken from Dex, Int, Wis and AC. Players can take their bonuses as far into the negatives as they like.

If the characters are not resisting mental influence and just brawling drunk (eg. a tavern fight, crashing a wedding or smuggled themselves into a fortress in wine barrels) then they automatically lose 1 point from a random bonus until they reach -1 to Dex, Int and Wis rolls.

Characters regain their normal stats after a night's sleep.

Damage

When characters take HP damage, if the amount of damage is odd it gets added to a tally instead of being immediately taken from HP. The character feels nothing and instead suffers that damage at the end of the fight.

If this takes the character below 0 HP, the excess comes off Str. This regenerates at the normal pace for attribute damage in your game. If Str is taken to 0 or less, the character can use any remaining points in the resistance pool for bonuses to a death saving roll. On success, the character is brought up to 1 Str and 1 HP. On failure, death.

Charisma

While drunk, characters subtract their normal Cha bonus from 5. The result is their new Cha bonus until they sober up. Characters that are normally charismatic become obnoxious and crass. Characters who are normally reserved become charming and outgoing.

Equipment loss

The next day when the characters are recovering and complaining about their hangovers, they each roll 1d6:

1 - 3: Nothing lost.

4, 5: A minor item lost.

6: A weapon, piece of armour or some other important possession lost.

These may be recoverable from the battlefield, or may be gone for ever.

Fantasy X-Men

In a previous post I mentioned an idea about ordinary characters having minor superpowers because they're polymorphed monsters and don't know it. Each character would have an ability stemming from their monster nature and a taboo that would undo the spell if they transgressed it.

The original idea was for each party member to be the only one who knew about another member's taboo, and have the responsibility for making sure they didn't break it. The monsters would effectively be each other's guards. However, I'm not that fond of games that give you knowledge your character doesn't have. Where's the fun for the player in uncovering the mystery?

So instead I think it should be handled by the GM. Players don't even need to know what sort of polymorphed creature they are. They can just be told that they always have advantage on certain skill tests, or that they have a supernatural power that works once per level per day. And supernaturally punished when they break their taboo, which they also don't know about.

I looked through the B/X Essentials monster manual for creatures that were A) living and B) intelligent and found a bigger list than I expected. Some are close enough to be cousin species, but that's an advantage if it gives a player the chance to form a completely wrong theory about what they are.

As of right now, I'm going simple and saying that breaking a taboo causes a psychic shock that does 1d6 HP damage, but it could easily be expanded into another subsystem. Maybe it damages the illusion and once you realise what you really are Wizard X unleashes the hounds of Tindalos to destroy you.

1)Bugbear
Bonus: Advantage on stealth rolls for character and anyone accompanying.
Taboo: Labour for wages.

2) Centaur
Bonus: Movement rate tripled.
Taboo: Carrying a person.

3) Djinn
Bonus: Breath weapon. Any creature of lower hit dice in a 5-space cone ahead of you is knocked prone. Equal hit dice are driven back 1 space.
Taboo: Go underground.

4) Doppelganger
Bonus: Imitate a person's voice and mannerisms perfectly. +2 bonus to disguising yourself as someone specific.
Taboo: Speak your own name.

5) Dragon
Bonus: +1 spell slot which can be cast hit dice x times per day.
Taboo: Give up a prized possession.

6) Dryad
Bonus: Advantage on woodcraft skill tests.
Taboo: Light a fire.

7) Efreet
Bonus: Instinctive understanding of fire - how to start it, how it spreads, how to contain it.
Taboo:Immerse yourself in water.

8) Gargoyle
Bonus: Wakefulness. You're immune to charm person and sleep spells and can stay awake for hit dice x days with no harmful effect.
Taboo: Sleep in a bed.

9) Giant
Bonus: Advantage on strength rolls.
Taboo: Act humble.

10) Gnoll
Bonus: Advantage on tracking rolls
Taboo: Eat before the party leader does.

11) Goblin
Bonus: Advantage on caving skill tests.
Taboo: Pay for something honestly.

12) Harpy
Bonus: Cast Charm Person hit dice x daily.
Taboo: Let a personal offence go unpunished.

13) Hobgoblin
Bonus: Advantage on stealth rolls for character and anyone accompanying.
Taboo: Enter combat without backup.

14) Invisible stalker
Bonus: Automatically surprise on your first attack in any combat.
Taboo: Alert someone to your presence.

15) Kobold
Bonus: +2 AC without armour, advantage on rolls to dodge.
Taboo: Attack an opponent from the front.

16) Lizardman
Bonus: You can slow your metabolism at will, entering a meditation-like state you can dismiss instantly. You need no food or water in this state.
Taboo: Kill a snake.
 
17) Lycanthrope
Bonus: Improved senses, especially smell. You can only be surprised on 1-in-6.
Taboo: Handle silver.

18) Manticore
Bonus: Poison bite. Hit dice x times per day. Victims must save or die.
Taboo: Speak words of comfort.

19) Medusa
Bonus: Cast Sleep on one target hit dice x times per day, by making eye contact.
Taboo: Look into your own reflected eyes.

20) Merman
Bonus: Advantage on swimming tests, hold breath for 2 + hit dice x minutes.
Taboo: Taste brine.

21) Minotaur
Bonus: You can handle weapons as if you were a larger creature - eg. weild a two-handed sword one-handed.
Taboo: Handle ceramics.

22) Nixie
Bonus: Cast Charm on up to hit dice x animals, once per day.
Taboo: Kill an animal.

23) Ogre
Bonus: Advantage on strength rolls.
Taboo: Share food.

24) Orc
Bonus: Advantage on caving skill tests.
Taboo: Enter combat without backup.

25) Pixie
Bonus: A successful save vs petrification nullifies all fall damage, otherwise fall damage is reduced by half.
Taboo: Harm a winged creature.

26) Salamander
Bonus: A successful save vs breath nullifies all heat or cold damage (choose which at character creation), otherwise damage is reduced by half.
Taboo: Use your opposing force as a tool or weapon.

27) Sprite
Bonus: Cast a minor curse up to hit dice x times per day. The curse target will suffer a clumsy accident, have a tool break, or some other distracting inconvenience.
Taboo: Speak a compliment.

28) Treant
Bonus: Up to hit dice x times per day a tree will find a way to help you - drop a branch in the right place, bear fruit out of season, etc.
Taboo: Cut wood.

29) Troglodyte
Bonus: Advantage on climbing tests.
Taboo: Sleep under open sky.

30) Troll
Bonus: When you roll for healing, use the rolled value or your number of hit dice, whichever is better.
Taboo: Handle open flame.

The why of roads

If you come across a road that's not marked on your map, all you really know about it is that leads to, or from, some place that people wanted to be.

This road leads to:

1. A city
2. The coast
3. A market town
4. A keep
5. A ruin
6. A demihuman community

It's a:

1. Paved military road
2. Graveled trade road
3. Muddy parallel wheel ruts left by farm carts
4. Trampled grassy track cleared of trees
5. Forgotten and badly-maintained highway
6. Raised wooden boards above marshland

It passes:

1. Through the foothills of a mountain range, winding between the peaks
2. Along the bank of a fast and wide river
3. Across bare ground at the border of a desert
4. Along the edge of coastal cliffs where heavy waves break on rocks at the base down below
5. Through dense woodland where sunlight never penetrates to the forest floor
6. Through a deep valley that reduces the range of vision and hampers lookouts

A standout feature is:

1. Toll houses a day's ride apart
2. Guard posts garrisoned to hunt bandits and highwaymen
3. Robber gangs preying on traveling merchants
4. Coach inns of varying quality
5. A section cut through a dangerous forest
6. Tales of ghostly riders

 The most frequent travelers are:

1. Mail coaches crewed by tough and well-armed drivers
2. Merchants driving covered wagons full of wares for trade
3. Farmers delivering produce to nearby communities
4. Pilgrims visiting holy sites
5. Companies of soldiers relocating to new duties
6. Traveling entertainers

Travelers should watch out for:

1. Shopkeepers inflating prices for out-of-towners
2. Wild animals
3. Squads of fighters from two different factions who each claim jurisdiction over the road
4. Monsters
5. Weather that makes the road impassable
6. Slavers and military press gangs