Session 6:
Morning arrived, and the next race with it. Once again, team WTF received a used car to fit out to their specifications. This one was in much better shape than the last one, but the engine was well out of tune. Eve's character spent her prep rolls working on the timing belt to improve the engine efficiency. Dmitri had a great idea over his breakfast vodka and used prep time to build an Interdimensional Phasing Gearbox, to allow the driver to shift the car out of regular space and harmlessly pass through objects. It can also be worn on a harness. Dmitri calls it 'Kevin'. The others did their usual work to improve WTF's chances of doing well in the race.
The start line was once again well inside city limits, so when the flag was dropped all the competitors sped away at or under the speed limit -- except for team Alabammy who activated their Wonder the second the race was official. Even they were taking it easy though, the road was anything but straight. Concerned that Rocket would try to block her again, Edith immediately manoeuvred to get past them. Arthur tried to swing in front, but Edith was on fire and Eve's engine modifications gave her the power to skip round him. It wasn't long before George's route planning started putting space between WTF and the other racers.
But speaking of George's efforts, he's starting to freak the other characters out a bit. He's been putting a lot of himself in the race, willingly opening himself up to the caustic clarity of mad science in order to improve the results he can present to the team. It's changing him, and not in a good way. He's much less concerned with social niceties than when he started the race, beginning to treat people with the icy indifference of a lab technician peering into a petri dish. He has an eerie presence and he just doesn't blink often enough.
George was oddly detached given the excitement of the race, but at least it presented him with an interesting optimisation problem. Following his directions, Edith left the city with a comfortable lead on the other teams and hit the interstate. She was finally free to open it up and let her go-faster paint do what it was designed for. It came as a surprise to look in the rear view mirror and see Team Rocket's car behind her and closing the distance between them. She took a calculated risk and activated her fire extinguisher/rocket engine Wonder, adding another speed boost. Rocket made a speed jump as well and continued to close the gap. That was when they ran into the fog bank.
It was thick and hid the sky. Edith and George were reminded of the story Maggie from the Faster Pussycats told them, about sudden mysterious cloud cover hiding Team Rocket's illegal side-swipe in the previous race. Looking in the mirror again, she saw Arthur shredding his tyres in the effort to overtake them. The Team Rocket car clearly couldn't handle this kind of punishment for long. If he was just trying to pass, it was very poor tactical thinking. Expecting trouble, Edith activated Kevin the gearbox and let the car phase out of normal space. The ride turned smooth as they began to skip through irregularities of the road surface instead of bouncing over them. George opened his phone camera and began recording. It was just in time. Arthur gunned his engine again to pull alongside, pieces of rubber flaking off his tyres and revealing metal underneath. He swung his steering wheel for a full-body side-swipe and passed harmlessly through the WTF car. Edith had the weird sensation of feeling Arthur's shocked face pass right through her own. He hit the road edge and fishtailed wildly, but managed to keep control.
George used his car remote Wonder to activate the Rocket car's brakes. They reported successful activation, but there was no change the other car's speed. Team Rocket's Wonder was rumoured to hollow out and wear a normal car like a disguise. This seemed to give some weight to that theory. He swerved at them again, trying a side-swipe from the other side. Once again he passed through them without causing any harm. This time the recovery was harder and he lost speed as he wrestled with the steering wheel. The Team Rocket car dropped back, and Edith started to pull away as Arthur seemed to give up the cheating attempt and let his car-punishing speed slacken off. Shortly, the fog began to dissipate and it was gone completely five minutes later. The Faster Pussycats' story about Team Rocket's cheating was proven true.
Soon after that Edith looked in the mirror again and saw Team Alabammy's car approaching in a cloud of smoke and sparks. Normally their car puffed out thick, black smog from its smoke stacks, but this was something different. As they got closer it became apparent that the smoke stacks had broken off under the stress of their speed. The car drew alongside and Tommy-Ray gave an inaudible whoop and threw them the heavy metal horns. They saw the sparks were because Alabammy's back tyres had completely melted in the heat of the exhaust from the JATO rocket welded to the car's roof. It began to pull ahead, surrounding WTF in smoke. George made a comment about the likelihood of the car exploding, and the probable effect on WTF if it happened on the road ahead of them, sounding more interested than concerned. Edith decided not to let that happen and pressed the button to inject Ziggy's superfuel into the engine. Their speed, already nerve-wracking, jumped again. They gradually came out of the smoke cloud as they overtook the Alabammy car. Tommy-Ray gave them another salute, this time using just one finger.
It turned out to be a sensible precaution, because seconds later they had another new experience: a JATO rocket passing through the car (thanks to Kevin the gearbox), trailing the wreckage of its metal straps with it. Behind them, the Alabammy car was slowly skidding to a halt.
The start line was once again well inside city limits, so when the flag was dropped all the competitors sped away at or under the speed limit -- except for team Alabammy who activated their Wonder the second the race was official. Even they were taking it easy though, the road was anything but straight. Concerned that Rocket would try to block her again, Edith immediately manoeuvred to get past them. Arthur tried to swing in front, but Edith was on fire and Eve's engine modifications gave her the power to skip round him. It wasn't long before George's route planning started putting space between WTF and the other racers.
But speaking of George's efforts, he's starting to freak the other characters out a bit. He's been putting a lot of himself in the race, willingly opening himself up to the caustic clarity of mad science in order to improve the results he can present to the team. It's changing him, and not in a good way. He's much less concerned with social niceties than when he started the race, beginning to treat people with the icy indifference of a lab technician peering into a petri dish. He has an eerie presence and he just doesn't blink often enough.
George was oddly detached given the excitement of the race, but at least it presented him with an interesting optimisation problem. Following his directions, Edith left the city with a comfortable lead on the other teams and hit the interstate. She was finally free to open it up and let her go-faster paint do what it was designed for. It came as a surprise to look in the rear view mirror and see Team Rocket's car behind her and closing the distance between them. She took a calculated risk and activated her fire extinguisher/rocket engine Wonder, adding another speed boost. Rocket made a speed jump as well and continued to close the gap. That was when they ran into the fog bank.
It was thick and hid the sky. Edith and George were reminded of the story Maggie from the Faster Pussycats told them, about sudden mysterious cloud cover hiding Team Rocket's illegal side-swipe in the previous race. Looking in the mirror again, she saw Arthur shredding his tyres in the effort to overtake them. The Team Rocket car clearly couldn't handle this kind of punishment for long. If he was just trying to pass, it was very poor tactical thinking. Expecting trouble, Edith activated Kevin the gearbox and let the car phase out of normal space. The ride turned smooth as they began to skip through irregularities of the road surface instead of bouncing over them. George opened his phone camera and began recording. It was just in time. Arthur gunned his engine again to pull alongside, pieces of rubber flaking off his tyres and revealing metal underneath. He swung his steering wheel for a full-body side-swipe and passed harmlessly through the WTF car. Edith had the weird sensation of feeling Arthur's shocked face pass right through her own. He hit the road edge and fishtailed wildly, but managed to keep control.
George used his car remote Wonder to activate the Rocket car's brakes. They reported successful activation, but there was no change the other car's speed. Team Rocket's Wonder was rumoured to hollow out and wear a normal car like a disguise. This seemed to give some weight to that theory. He swerved at them again, trying a side-swipe from the other side. Once again he passed through them without causing any harm. This time the recovery was harder and he lost speed as he wrestled with the steering wheel. The Team Rocket car dropped back, and Edith started to pull away as Arthur seemed to give up the cheating attempt and let his car-punishing speed slacken off. Shortly, the fog began to dissipate and it was gone completely five minutes later. The Faster Pussycats' story about Team Rocket's cheating was proven true.
Soon after that Edith looked in the mirror again and saw Team Alabammy's car approaching in a cloud of smoke and sparks. Normally their car puffed out thick, black smog from its smoke stacks, but this was something different. As they got closer it became apparent that the smoke stacks had broken off under the stress of their speed. The car drew alongside and Tommy-Ray gave an inaudible whoop and threw them the heavy metal horns. They saw the sparks were because Alabammy's back tyres had completely melted in the heat of the exhaust from the JATO rocket welded to the car's roof. It began to pull ahead, surrounding WTF in smoke. George made a comment about the likelihood of the car exploding, and the probable effect on WTF if it happened on the road ahead of them, sounding more interested than concerned. Edith decided not to let that happen and pressed the button to inject Ziggy's superfuel into the engine. Their speed, already nerve-wracking, jumped again. They gradually came out of the smoke cloud as they overtook the Alabammy car. Tommy-Ray gave them another salute, this time using just one finger.
It turned out to be a sensible precaution, because seconds later they had another new experience: a JATO rocket passing through the car (thanks to Kevin the gearbox), trailing the wreckage of its metal straps with it. Behind them, the Alabammy car was slowly skidding to a halt.
The rest of the race was uneventful and WTF pulled into Des Moines with a comfortable lead over Team Rocket, the next to arrive. George tracked down Fred to talk to him about the Rocket sabotage event, but Howard had beaten him to it. He claimed that Arthur hadn't intended to side-swipe the WTF car, he just lost control at high speed because of his tyres shredding. Fred was sceptical of his story, but it was plausible enough to get Rocket a warning instead of disqualification. Rocket will be participating in the next race.
After finishing with the car, Dmitri headed directly for the hotel bar. The hotel was part of a shopping complex that had a spa on the top floor. Edith and Eve headed directly there to unwind, and found themselves sharing a steam room with Missy from the Faster Pussycats. They collectively decided that the spa counts as neutral territory and fell into conversation. Missy passed on a nugget of gossip she'd heard about Team Rocket: they were ruthless because winning the race was part of their plan to get rich. They wanted to use the Nine Vertex Devils Club resources to build a spaceship capable of reaching Mars. They'd take a cargo of water with them and trade it for Martian sapphires to sell on Earth. Martian sapphires dissolve in Earth's atmosphere after a few days, but Rocket saw that as the buyer's problem.
When they returned to their room, they found it in disarray. Belongings were scattered, drawers were pulled out, cupboard doors were open. Edith's container of go-faster paint was gone. Her extinguisher was still there, thankfully. And Dmitri had Kevin with him. There was no sign of who'd turned the room over. Team Rocket seemed like the obvious suspects after the conversation they'd just had, but the other teams had shown themselves to be equally determined to win.
The usual club dinner was a subdued affair. George and Dmitri weren't present, so it was only Eve and Edith of Team WTF. The race officials and Team Human were also present. Only the Humans seemed immune to the mood, they were doing shots of tabasco sauce. Conversation was hushed and stilted.
While that was going on and the race teams could be expected to be out of their rooms, Dmitri took the opportunity to do some snooping and see if he could find Edith's paint. Using Kevin the gearbox, he stepped through the wall from his hotel room to the next. It could only be someone from Team Rocket staying there, there were Chinese-language racing magazines on the bed. There was no-one present, so he quickly looked through all the drawers, under the mattress, etc. Just to see what there was to find. It turned out to be nothing. The same applied to the other Team Rocket rooms. Arthur and Junior were sharing one, Howard and Samantha each had one of their own. Team Alabammy's room was much the same, except that the floor was already strewn with beer cans and porn. Team Human had three identical suitcases with three identical sets of clothes, and three identical steamer trunks which housed a vast range of snackfoods. It was only when he reached the Faster Pussycats' room (ominously the WTF rooms were between those and Team Rocket) that he found something interesting: Maggie's plasma pistol. He pocketed it and returned to the WTF guys' room. Sadly, without having found the paint.
At the same time, George was in the shared workshop the club maintained for the teams. All the cars had been removed so it was just him and a gorilla with a metallic skullcap, who was watching Netflix. He found he enjoyed the solitude, as human company had begun to seem more and more pointless. He'd bought himself some electronic supplies, which he used to modify a pair of night-vision binoculars to add a recording feature. Sleep was a waste of precious time. He planned to instead use that time to wait for the cow to return and investigate it thoroughly.
Team WTF went to bed early (except for George) to get a good night's sleep and prepare for the next race. But it wasn't a peaceful night. First, their rest was interrupted by shouting from outside Samantha's room. Maggie was banging on the door, demanding the return of her grandmother's raygun (currently safe in Dmitri's possession). Instead of confronting her, Samantha called hotel security, who escorted Maggie back to her room with a warning not to cause any further disturbance. Half an hour later, inside the WTF room water started pouring out of the ceiling and running down the wall. There was shouting from Arthur and Junior's room, where the flooding was even worse. It seemed that WTF was collateral damage in a prank that was aimed at Team Rocket. Eve moved to a utility cupboard in the hallway outside to try and resume her interrupted sleep. Edith stayed where she was, but put on a sleep mask and pair of ear plugs and hoped it wouldn't get any worse.
Not long after that, the temperature plummeted. In a matter of minutes, it was so cold the hallway carpet crackled under foot. The cold seemed centred on the Faster Pussycats' room. There were muffled electrical sounds and then a bang from the ceiling space and it began to warm again. Then after a short period of quiet, the whole floor was woken up by thumping bassy music from inside the Rocket quarters. That only ended when the Rocket team members threw the last of a series of smashed cellphones out into the hallway. There were also:
After finishing with the car, Dmitri headed directly for the hotel bar. The hotel was part of a shopping complex that had a spa on the top floor. Edith and Eve headed directly there to unwind, and found themselves sharing a steam room with Missy from the Faster Pussycats. They collectively decided that the spa counts as neutral territory and fell into conversation. Missy passed on a nugget of gossip she'd heard about Team Rocket: they were ruthless because winning the race was part of their plan to get rich. They wanted to use the Nine Vertex Devils Club resources to build a spaceship capable of reaching Mars. They'd take a cargo of water with them and trade it for Martian sapphires to sell on Earth. Martian sapphires dissolve in Earth's atmosphere after a few days, but Rocket saw that as the buyer's problem.
When they returned to their room, they found it in disarray. Belongings were scattered, drawers were pulled out, cupboard doors were open. Edith's container of go-faster paint was gone. Her extinguisher was still there, thankfully. And Dmitri had Kevin with him. There was no sign of who'd turned the room over. Team Rocket seemed like the obvious suspects after the conversation they'd just had, but the other teams had shown themselves to be equally determined to win.
The usual club dinner was a subdued affair. George and Dmitri weren't present, so it was only Eve and Edith of Team WTF. The race officials and Team Human were also present. Only the Humans seemed immune to the mood, they were doing shots of tabasco sauce. Conversation was hushed and stilted.
While that was going on and the race teams could be expected to be out of their rooms, Dmitri took the opportunity to do some snooping and see if he could find Edith's paint. Using Kevin the gearbox, he stepped through the wall from his hotel room to the next. It could only be someone from Team Rocket staying there, there were Chinese-language racing magazines on the bed. There was no-one present, so he quickly looked through all the drawers, under the mattress, etc. Just to see what there was to find. It turned out to be nothing. The same applied to the other Team Rocket rooms. Arthur and Junior were sharing one, Howard and Samantha each had one of their own. Team Alabammy's room was much the same, except that the floor was already strewn with beer cans and porn. Team Human had three identical suitcases with three identical sets of clothes, and three identical steamer trunks which housed a vast range of snackfoods. It was only when he reached the Faster Pussycats' room (ominously the WTF rooms were between those and Team Rocket) that he found something interesting: Maggie's plasma pistol. He pocketed it and returned to the WTF guys' room. Sadly, without having found the paint.
At the same time, George was in the shared workshop the club maintained for the teams. All the cars had been removed so it was just him and a gorilla with a metallic skullcap, who was watching Netflix. He found he enjoyed the solitude, as human company had begun to seem more and more pointless. He'd bought himself some electronic supplies, which he used to modify a pair of night-vision binoculars to add a recording feature. Sleep was a waste of precious time. He planned to instead use that time to wait for the cow to return and investigate it thoroughly.
Team WTF went to bed early (except for George) to get a good night's sleep and prepare for the next race. But it wasn't a peaceful night. First, their rest was interrupted by shouting from outside Samantha's room. Maggie was banging on the door, demanding the return of her grandmother's raygun (currently safe in Dmitri's possession). Instead of confronting her, Samantha called hotel security, who escorted Maggie back to her room with a warning not to cause any further disturbance. Half an hour later, inside the WTF room water started pouring out of the ceiling and running down the wall. There was shouting from Arthur and Junior's room, where the flooding was even worse. It seemed that WTF was collateral damage in a prank that was aimed at Team Rocket. Eve moved to a utility cupboard in the hallway outside to try and resume her interrupted sleep. Edith stayed where she was, but put on a sleep mask and pair of ear plugs and hoped it wouldn't get any worse.
Not long after that, the temperature plummeted. In a matter of minutes, it was so cold the hallway carpet crackled under foot. The cold seemed centred on the Faster Pussycats' room. There were muffled electrical sounds and then a bang from the ceiling space and it began to warm again. Then after a short period of quiet, the whole floor was woken up by thumping bassy music from inside the Rocket quarters. That only ended when the Rocket team members threw the last of a series of smashed cellphones out into the hallway. There were also:
- A stink bomb
- A plague of rats
- A team of strippers and a dwarf in a princess costume
- Stifling heat
- Unexplained waves of vertigo
- Junior Lee was dragged into a van by three masked men with Alabama accents, then stripped naked, tied up and left in a cornfield
George wasn't bothered by any of that. He had let himself into an empty room with an external window to wait for the cow. Just after two in the morning, his patience was rewarded. The usual blue light appeared and the struggling cow, who clearly wanted nothing to do with this, descended. Once again the light hovered from window to window, as though looking inside. George recorded everything he saw through his binoculars. After a while it seemed like the light hadn't found what it wanted, because it rose up through the night sky again. Watching carefully, George saw it vanish inside a spinning saucer-like craft. With his new-found insight into the secret logic underpinning the universe, he immediately recognised it as being the same construction as Team Human's car Wonder, the Spider Insider. He filed the information away for later.
The following morning, the hotel staff insisted on helping the racers shift all their gear out of the building. They also told them that while none of last night's odd events could be conclusively pinned on anyone in particular, they would be grateful if all of the racers would find alternative accommodation the next time they were in Des Moines.
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